happy stud

Ya'll know what I don't like? It's when you work your ass off all day and take a girl out and spend all your money on her at the restarant and movies then when you try making a move on her a little later she tells you shes tired. Any of ya'll hear that shit?

10

Happy Stud, my PE brother, just because you take a woman out on a date and spend money on her doesn't mean she has to "put out". Most likely, if she's told you she's tired, that's probably her way of telling you she either isn't interested in you or interested in furthering the evening. You sort of have to accept it and move on from there brother.

My suggestion to you is date smart. By this I mean don't take a woman to a fancy restaurant and a movie the first time out. Try a coffee date instead. You know, a "get to know you" session. At the end, you will know if you really want to formally date her or not and she will know the same about you. Either way, you've only invested maybe $5.00 for coffee versus serious money for a dinner and a movie, only to get rejected when you try making a move on her. You've got to be economically smart about this stuff brother. Just a thought.

Rob

I think a Happy Hour is the best first date. Particularly if done on a weeknight. I like to have alchohol involved on the first date, as it tends to loosen things up. If it's not going anywhere, you can always bail out after a few drinks - with the perfect excuse of having to work the next morning.

Rob

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GRX

In the words of the great, wise Uberschwanz:


Seriously though, I like Rob's idea if you are over the legal drinking age. If you are not, try an activity or shared interest like rock climbing, mountain biking, disc golf, quilting... cheap and something you both enjoy. If it's physical activity, you'll see if she's afraid to sweat in front of you.

Good luck and good gains!

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You're sister is HOT... but your mom does that thing with her tongue!
PE for length: so her heart stops when she sees it.
PE for girth: to get her heart started again!

sikdogg

I'm digging Rob's idea... Drinks are cheaper, you have access to free snacks, and you have a good excuse to bail if you think it's not going in your direction.

I don't know if a physical activity will work for a first date... most women that i know don't want a man to see them sweaty and perceived unclean until they are well aquainted and have a certain level of comfort in their relationship. Something like miniture golf might work but anything more physical probably won't for most women.

virgin mary

Some of you men are unreal. I think some of you need to go back and reread this thread. I believe that the women that have responded here have said over and over about not treating us as if we are nothing but a sex object to you.

Some of the men seem to understand that but some don't. And Happy Stud, someone needs to buy you a calendar. This is the 21st century. You are way off in how to act around women.

Rob

My recommendation would go for women as well as for men. I've had many many first dates, and this approach has worked well for me.

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sikdogg

Well the fact is that there are a number of men that ony want women for sex... and you women just don't seem to understand how much more easy it is to get a woman in bed by being an ass than being a gentleman.

The fact is that all women are sex objects first and girlfriends/wives second. If we don't find you attractive (sexually or otherwise), there's just no point in even persuing you. This is true even after you're married. My wife is my best friend but what kind of a relationship would we have if i didn't find her sexually attractive?? We sit and talk about everything every chance we get, but i'm still very much attracted to her physically that oftentimes i just want to throw her on the bed and bang the crap out of her. This is after 15 years of marriage... guys will always be guys. Yes i treat my wife like a queen, but that's because she treats me like a king. We are equal...

Dating isn't equal as women hold all the cards. They determine if they'll go out with you, they determine if they will kiss you on the first date, they determine if/when to have sex, they..., they..., they... i say guys shouldn't play up to women's rules until they've determined that this is a woman that they want to spend more time with. Guys need to do what it takes to get what they want, then if they feel that this woman is a person that they's like to spend more time with then (and only then) should a guy elevate her. I'm tired of hearing about guys getting walked all over by women... Nice guys do in fact finish last (not in all cases, but in most).

Nacho_Vidal

Double checked and yes, it's 6" girth, I'm telling you it makes women crazy, sometimes they say it hurts at the first thrust. What I'm interested in is length, because I see my thing on the mirror and it looks disproportioned.

pleaser

All I can say is that I disagree!

SonicCelt

Why can't women understand sometimes a man just wants to be held?????

10

I don't totally agree with Dogg but I also don't disagree with him either. I've long been of the school of thought that nice guys, like myself, finish dead last. I've had more than one source tell me that women almost prefer a cocky jackass for a boyfriend or husband than one who is a gentleman. And, I've got many lady friends who are married to or are dating asshole men AND THEY STAY WITH THEM, thus, proving my point.

No, not all nice guys finish dead last, but most I certainly believe do.

10

And whether it be a coffee date or a happy hour date, point to be noted here is "cheap".

10

Good God Sonic, you goin' soft on us man or what????? LOL

virgin mary

I don't mean to cause any trouble but some or you men are just morons if you think women are going to put up with your attitudes. I'm very glad I am now married because I can see I would wasting my time with some of you.

If you are wanting to get into a meaningful relationship alot of you will be very disappointed. Where does it say that a woman should have sex with you just because you take her out? Yes there are alot of women that will swap sex for a night out on the town but I guess it just depends on what type of woman you are looking for.

There's no question some women use men just like some men use women. It's a shame we can't keep the ones that like to use the other sex together because they give the rest a bad name. But to whine because your not getting sex after taking a woman out on a date is just plain pathetic.

10

OK, who the hell is whining virgin mary???? I'm not sure who you're referring to here but speaking on my own behalf, I've NEVER whined because I didn't get laid on a date. You're right, it is pathetic and only demonstrates a man's weakness for sex. Personally, I can go out with a woman, have a great time and go home and take care of myself. I don't need a woman to do that for me. Besides that, before I venture out with a woman, she has to prove to me that she's worth my time investment. I just divorced one that turned out to be a complete loser. Speaking for myself and myself only here, I need a woman like a fish needs a bicycle!

sikdogg

Hey 10, i think she's referring to me...

I'm glad you're married too because us morons wouldn't want to waste our time and money on you either...

Actually the users typically find the used... just go to any pick-up spot and you'll see both sides. I'm not whining about not getting sex, because it's pretty easy to spot a mark if all you want is one thing. What i'm whining about is that fact that women want to lay down all these rules for how men should behave so that they are in control. All i'm saying is... screw all your rules and that guys should do and behave as they want to. If you don't like it, too bad. There's another hotter chick just around the corner. When i was in my party phase, there was no shortage of women to have sex with. The same hold true today. It wasn't until i decided to slow down that i changed my behavior towards women, or specifically one particular woman. What's funny was that all through college and early work years, women like yourselves were spewing the same thing...

Now, to make myself perfectly clear, i say this only in the context of "dating". Once in a relationship, a guy does have to be more civilized. I further think that regardless of whether a guy is looking for a relationship or NSA sex, he needs to have a screw that attitude until such time that a relationship has formed. Women will never agree with this as it takes control away from them, but trust me guys... my way is much more fun as you get you cake and eat it too...

sikdogg

Hey, that's cool... but i went through a phase where all i wanted from women was sex. Most of my buddies went through the same thing as i think alot of other guys as well. Whether you and the women on this board agree or not doesn't change the fact that there are alot of of guys that feel this way. This is the reasom why most clubs and bars are crowded on weekends. Have you been to any bars/clubs near colleges?? Do you really think all those guys are there to meet their future wives?? NOT, they are there to find sex. If it lasts more than a night or two, great. If not, that's great also...

The smart guys don't even think about long term relationships until they've graduated college.

pleaser

Hey Dogg,

The reason I left as short and sweet as "I disagree" is because I simply wanted to say that men's attitudes are not monolithic. You've stated your point of view and I'm sure it is representative of some (many?) men, but not all, and certainly not me.

I don't mind a healthy argument sometimes, but I don't feel like getting into this one. I have a lot of respect for Dogg and the other guys on this forum with regard to PE, and I don't want to start up animosity and bad feelings over this. So as far as this goes, I just want it on the record that I do not share Sikdogg's opinion or attitude. I'm not saying he's wrong or right, good or bad... just that he doesn't speak for me on this.

Now, the rest of you boys and girls... Play nice!!!!

sikdogg

Hey bro... didn't mean to project animosity... i guess i can come on a little strong at times. I'll try to tone it down a bit.

Marty5379

I agree. Sometimes when my wife is rubbing my crotch, I look at her and ask, "Can we not just sit here and cuddle sometime? Would it be impossible for you to sit and listen to me talk? Would it break your jaw to tell me my hair looks nice? or you like my outfit?" Of course, she always responds. "Sorry, but we are different. When I hold you it leads me to other thoughts and ideas and etc." To which I fire back, "All you ever think about is sex! The only time you are nice to me or touch me or hold me or talk to me is when you want sex!"

Let me know when you figure out the woman Sonic. This sex every time we touch is getting old. I am dieing for some cuddling and conversation.

10

Dogg........coming on strong with a point??????........Nah!

JonPop

Hey Marty, that's funny. I get plenty of cuddling and conversation from Mrs. 579. She must keep you around just for sex. Hahaha.

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10

Gee Marty, am I sensing a wee bit of sarchasm here?? HAHA

sikdogg

Marty, you crack me up...

Yea 10, i know we talked about this the other day. I need to chill out. Hey maybe we can have a TimeOut Room where unruly members get sent before they get canned.

JonPop

New word by 10.

(SARCHASM) Adj.

The gap between funny and reality.

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10

Nah Dogg, there's a difference between coming on strong with a point and standing up for your convictions. You simply stand up for what you believe in. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Heck, most of the time I'm on your side.

virgin mary

Just for the record I am 42 years old and constantly have men almost half my age hitting on me. I am told all the time I look like I am in my twenties. Every man I dated before I got married was very "gentlemanly". If I got a divorce I would have no problem dating quality men. I am neither impressed or intimidated by men that want to act and talk tough and be chauvenistic.

I've never heard so much nonsense in all my life. Your going to treat a woman like trash until you decide if you want to date her seriously? Sure you'll find some women that will put up with that kind of an attitude but not many.

JonPop

Doggie, go to your UNRULY room.

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pleaser

I didn't feel any animosity from you. But I was anticipating that if I started going toe-to-toe with you on this it might get out of hand because of BOTH of us! I just don't want to go there! The only reason I've responded at all to this part of the thread is that I didn't want my silence to be interpreted as agreement, especially now that there are ladies present.

2cents

While I agree that debate and opposing opinions should be encouraged on a forum, I think a few extremes in wording gave people the wrong impression in previous posts. As far as the gentleman versus dickhead thing and women, a little clarification might help. I understand what's meant by this when I hear it, but perhaps it's because I'm male and used to seeing it in action.

Many men, when faced with a woman they find very attractive, tend to be overly polite or complimentary, and while they may be sincere they can frankly come off as tools or at the very least be inhibited in expressing their real personality. Also, men who are willing to bow to all the wishes of a woman to win her are certainly more likely to be exploited and wind up as inferiors in the relationship. This seems true to me when a woman goes overboard trying to please a man. Fact is, even in business or friendly everyday relationships, when someone tries to be really nice and accomodating, they are likely to get exploited by whomever they know. Thus, the nice guy finishes last for fear of getting a woman (or anyone else) upset. It has certainly happened to me, both with women and people in general.

Now, back to men and women. A man who can be the same around a woman he's just met as he is with his friends I believe has a better chance of getting on her good side because he doesn't appear forced or fake, and isn't just showering compliments on her. If a man isn't afraid to tell a racy joke, or do something balsy around a woman to make her laugh, well that's certainly more entertaining than blind admiration. A 'gentleman' might alter his behavior in mixed company, and so seem a little more boring.

Thus, to the gentlemen, the guy who throws a joking insult at a woman can easily be perceived as a dick. "Why is he getting her attention when I was so nice?" he might ask. Also, being jealous of that guy doesn't help your perception of him. Trust me, I've been there. Of course, there are always examples of the gorgeous looking babe who's with a guy who truly is a dick and treates her poorly. Some say she needs the challenge of a man who won't adore her like everyone else does, or that makes her feel like she's dating above herself because he acts like he's so much better. These may or may not be true, and to the casual observer we don't know any different but naturally assume because she's hot he doesn't deserve her. This isn't fair of course, but if you see it enough you can begin believe it's always that way.

Finally, most of these behaviors can be seen at bars and other typical dating spots. That doesn't mean that women everywhere respond that way, and by all means women might want a man who's quiet, who doesn't hang out in bars, etc. I don't mean to change anybody's words, and obviously there are more variables than I can mention in one post, but my point is men do make these generalizations about the opposite sex and they aren't all based on pure nonsense. I know some women do the same, in their own way of course, and when the views meet, as they have had the chance to here, they can sound absurd to those being generalized about. This is why we shouldn't generalize, but we will anyway. Personally, like I said I've been the nice guy and seen it not work, and I've been myself and done better. I've had a few women sort of be the nice girl to me, and it certainly put me off, so I can understand it a bit in retrospect. Anyhow that's enough of my opinion, but I hope it slightly clears a few things up.

pleaser

OK, have to put my two cents in in response to 2cents.

I can understand and even agree to some extent with what 2cents has posted. I can even agree to a much much smaller extent with a tiny bit of what Sikdogg posted. One of my issues with Sikdogg's post is that it is very absolute. He doesn't seem to leave much room for individuality, or to understand circumstances, or to have any flexibility. It seems like, "If a girl doesn't treat me EXACTLY the way I think is right... she is HISTORY."

Regarding 2cent's comments, I think the lesson is that it is best to be yourself. If you have a dynamic personality that will probably "work" better in a fast-paced pick up scene like a bar. If you are more sensitive, it might be better in one-on-one settings, maybe meeting women through Match or some other online service where slower paced communication carries the day over boisterous swagger.

Marty5379

Not what she told me JP. She said you were so big that she couldn't talk when it was in her mouth. On the other hand, my dick in her mouth does not stop the bickering

10

Actually pleaser, you're way off base with respect to Dogg's post. Dogg just knows where he stands on issues and isn't afraid to speak his mind or stand up for himself or his convictions. He's also one of the most individual people I know. And yes, he also believes that if a girl wants queen treatment, she needs to treat him like a king. Turn about is absolutely fair play.

I do share Dogg's thought process on this. If a girl doesn't treat me the way I feel I should be treated, why am I going to stick around? I've got too much self respect and confidence in myself that if one woman doesn't treat me the way I think I should be treated, then hell yes she's history. I put up with too much BS from my ex wife to ever allow another woman to come into my life and disrespect me again. Yes, I will absolutely repect her and treat her like a lady. No question. BUT, she had best return the treatment in kind or yeah, she's gone.

I'm not trying to protect Dogg, he does a good job of that on his own. But, I will definitely stand up for someone who is genuine in their opinion and respect their ability to stand up for what they think is right.

Marty5379

Exactly. My wife gave me that woman talk a long time ago about how she felt like all she did was do what I wanted ... blah, blah, blah. So I told her she would get what she wanted IF, and only IF, she actually gave me what I wanted Unbeknown to her, she actually was not meeting the company goal. So I explained to her what the company goal was and how she could earn the bonus of me actually conversing with her, cuddling, etc.

Here's how it works with me: If I am satisfied and happy, I go the extra mile and actually give her what all women want. And to boot, I act like I am sincere in doing it