Cheating? - Leave 'em or Keep 'em - Page 2

sikdogg · 06-21-2005, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Succubus

... So I'd have to say k--- both of them.

..no really, tell us how you feel Lisa.

jennifer · 06-21-2005, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Question;

How many here beleive that answering a post such as "Who wants to fuck Jennifer?" with a fantasy, cyber fuck, or having fantasy sex on-line is cheating on your wife, if it never goes any further than just mind games?

JonPop:

I would consider the examples you cited as flirting and not cheating. I think there has to be a "physical meeting" of two people to constitute cheating. What about people who look at porn on the Internet? Is that cheating? Personally, I would say no.

Jen

pleaser · 06-21-2005, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Okay, you guys, I am very curious how you would answer this question: If you came home one day and a strange man were kneeling in between your wife/girlfriend's legs - sucking, licking and fingering her pussy, would you consider THAT cheating? What's good for the goose is good for the gander!!

Jen

Yeah, but that's DIFFERENT!!!

Überschwanz · 06-21-2005, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pleaser

Yeah, but that's DIFFERENT!!!

You could cut the sarcasm with a knife.

sikdogg · 06-21-2005, 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

I would consider the examples you cited as flirting and not cheating. I think there has to be a "physical meeting" of two people to constitute cheating. What about people who look at porn on the Internet? Is that cheating? Personally, I would say no.

I can see your logic and it makes some sense... I disagree only because two people can actually build a relationship and have real feelings for each other without ever actually meeting or making physical contact. If my wife cheated on me for just physical contact (sex), i can accept that but if she actually develops a relationship where she has real feelings for another person that would hurt much more than if it was just sex.

Succubus · 06-21-2005, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Hi everyone. I would like to get everyone's opinion on the subject of cheating. I am going to ask two hypothetical questions and would love for everyone to participate.

Question #1 - IF you found out your partner were cheating on you what would you do? What conditions, if any, would you forgive them and what conditions, if any, would you leave them?

Question #2 - IF you were cheating and your partner found out, what would they do? What conditions, if any, would they forgive you and what conditions, if any, would they leave you?

I would forgive Andrew If I knew he was sincere and it'd never happen again,and also if I didn't know the person and he had no final contact with her.

If I were cheating my husband would forgive me If I was on alot of medications that were mind altering.The conditions were get off the meds,and no more communication.

pleaser · 06-21-2005, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Succubus

If I were cheating my husband would forgive me If I was on alot of medications that were mind altering.The conditions were get off the meds,and no more communication.

*Pleaser starts rummaging through his medicine cabinet....*

Succubus · 06-22-2005, 05:46 AM

YOU asshole!!! lmao!!

jennifer · 06-22-2005, 01:02 PM

Here's a question someone sent to me privately. While you are having sex with your partner, you are thinking it is someone else who you know very well. Since you cannot be with that person and vice versa, you allow your mind to intensely believe your current partner, is in fact, this other person. Is this cheating?

Jen

10 · 06-22-2005, 02:26 PM

I would honestly say "no". You know how many times I used to pretend my ex wife was a porn star during sex??? LOL

Seriously though, I used to do it all of the time. I think in that aspect, it's perfectly healthy. And I KNOW that my ex also did it.........I don't think it's honestly that big a deal. As long as you don't utter that person's name, that could be a moment ruiner for ya!

sikdogg · 06-22-2005, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Here's a question someone sent to me privately. While you are having sex with your partner, you are thinking it is someone else who you know very well. Since you cannot be with that person and vice versa, you allow your mind to intensely believe your current partner, is in fact, this other person. Is this cheating?

That's a tough one... i think that most people have probably done this to some extent at one time or another. I think if it's a one-off thing then no harm no foul, but if you are always doing it with one particular person in mind then it starts to cross the line. Now if it's part of a role playing game that you two are both participating in, then i would think that it's all good anytime.

10 · 06-22-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sikdogg

That's a tough one... i think that most people have probably done this to some extent at one time or another. I think if it's a one-off thing then no harm no foul, but if you are always doing it with one particular person in mind then it starts to cross the line. Now if it's part of a role playing game that you two are both participating in, then i would think that it's all good anytime.

Gee Doggie, me thinks we didn't agree on this one. That's odd.

sikdogg · 06-22-2005, 08:28 PM

Yea, but not completely... in some context i think it's cool.

10 · 06-22-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sikdogg

Yea, but not completely... in some context i think it's cool.

Wheeww, had me worried for a minute there bro. hehe

kal · 06-22-2005, 08:41 PM

I personally try to steer clear of relationships to avoid the stress and turmoil. But as for cheating, I believe in open relationships, unless of course both partners are fully satisfied by eachother and don't need to expierience others, which is fine. But how can a person who meets another among the billions populating their planet suddenly say to him/herslf, "Here is the only person that I will have intimate relations, and even if I meet others that correspond to my tastes, I will stay faithful to the first, for the one and only reason that luck had it that they were the first."

JonPop · 06-22-2005, 08:48 PM

Interesting observation Kal.

10 · 06-22-2005, 10:01 PM

You know, there is something in what Kal has said that I do agree with. Relationships do cause stress and anxiety. I think that's what turns me off the most at this point. The stress of having to put up with someone else's crap, their baggage, their issues, etc.....Of course, if I were with someone who truly loved me for "me", I might be inclined to think and feel differently. I'm beginning to think that I was not cut out for relationships or marriage for that matter. Hmmmmm.......

xxxstar1 · 06-22-2005, 10:39 PM

I found my Ex in bed with another man. So i walked out no questions some very nasty screaming and shouting, but to me once that trust is broken the relationship is finished. that is my thoughts and feelings on this matter.

I can honestly say i have never cheeted on any woman i have been going out with and i will never do it if things that bad in the relationship i would end it before going that far in a new relationship.

Just to let you all know i had been with my Ex for 12 years.

Nacho_Vidal · 06-22-2005, 10:42 PM

Thinking in someone else who's not the one you're having sex with shows that THE ACT itself is becoming a boring routine. Having sex with your wife pretending she was someone else is a bad sign.

Still the situation applies only when your fantasy is someone you know, not an actress or a porn star, so I would say that is cheating but in a harmless way.

My point is, we all people are cheaters, to some level. Thinking of sex with someone else is the first step, flirting the second, cheating the third.

pleaser · 06-22-2005, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kal

I personally try to steer clear of relationships to avoid the stress and turmoil. But as for cheating, I believe in open relationships, unless of course both partners are fully satisfied by eachother and don't need to expierience others, which is fine. But how can a person who meets another among the billions populating their planet suddenly say to him/herslf, "Here is the only person that I will have intimate relations, and even if I meet others that correspond to my tastes, I will stay faithful to the first, for the one and only reason that luck had it that they were the first."

I think one can decide that there is a great virtue in remaining faithful, that you have made your choice and that your devotion shall make you blind to another's charms. This may or may not be a concious decision. If one decides that remaining faithful is the right path, then the very act of resisting temptation can be very empowering and reinforcing of the relationship. I had an experience during my marriage where I visited a girl who I once loved very much and who had not felt the same as I. During that visit, many old feelings were stirred up, and I am certain that she was willing to finally do what we never had done many years earlier. At that moment, I realized that the fulfillment of an old desire and fantasy (I had thought about this woman very, very often over many years of marriage) was simply not worth the damage I might do to my relationship with my wife and family. In fact, the realization that I would choose fidelity over fulfillment of a long standing fantasy strengthened my comittment to my marriage and family. I'm not saying this is the "right" way, or the "only" way, or even the way I might feel today, but it was an experience that made me value the idea of fidelity. I do believe that it is possible to love more than one person at a time, and love them very deeply. Love is a complicated thing!

happy stud · 06-22-2005, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Here's a question someone sent to me privately. While you are having sex with your partner, you are thinking it is someone else who you know very well. Since you cannot be with that person and vice versa, you allow your mind to intensely believe your current partner, is in fact, this other person. Is this cheating?

Jen

When you say are we thinking about someone we know very well do you mean like my best friends girl friend? If this is what you mean then hell yes i think of these beautiful women that I know but I cant have.Is it cheating or lust I dont know but I know I sure want them.

JonPop · 06-22-2005, 11:16 PM

Great post Pleaser. A lot of truth in what you have written.

Nacho_Vidal · 06-22-2005, 11:23 PM

Pleaser, I admire that kind of commitment, fidelity at the top, but then again, if you think "it is possible to love more than one person at a time", the fantasy of making love to that other person is a sign of "I have what I want but want something else as well".

Could you say then that fidelity goes with resignation ???

Does the resignation turn into boredom ???

Eventually boredom will make your eyes look somewhere.else

Nacho_Vidal · 06-22-2005, 11:30 PM

Happy stud:

I think that's lust, but it also depends on what do you want your best friend's girlfriend for, to get laid or keep her as YOUR girlfriend.

"If you look some other girls' boobs or ass, someone is looking at your girls' as well"

sikdogg · 06-22-2005, 11:45 PM

Nacho, the fact is that regardless of how attractive your spouse is or how much you love him/her, over time boredom WILL set in. It can't be helped... we are all creatures of habit in some form or another. A loving relationship requires alot of care and feeding. Couples don't live happily ever after because they said their wedding vows and an occasional "i love you", they live happily ever after because they choose to spend the rest of their days with that one person and be willing to put up with some silliness every now and then to make it happen. How you react to the boredom determines how you feel about your relationship... if you do nothing and let it stagnate then you're both doomed, but if you choose to make some changes to spice things up then you're on the right track to living happily ever after...

pleaser · 06-22-2005, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nacho_Vidal

Pleaser, I admire that kind of commitment, fidelity at the top, but then again, if you think "it is possible to love more than one person at a time", the fantasy of making love to that other person is a sign of "I have what I want but want something else as well".

Could you say then that fidelity goes with resignation ???

Does the resignation turn into boredom ???

Eventually boredom will make your eyes look somewhere.else

When I said, "it is possible to love more than one person at a time", I didn't finish explaining myself. It is a contradiction of the other stuff I wrote. Which just means to me that love is very complicated! I think someone can choose fidelity as a part of a devoted loving relationship, and I thing someone can also choose "polyamory" (loving more than one at the same time) without diminishing their love and devotion to any of their partners. I think it depends entirely on the people involved. The partners all have to be of one mind on this.

I think that for some people fidelity goes with resignation, and that is a bad place to be. Yes, it probably does turn to boredom (and resentment, etc.)

For some people embracing fidelity as a guiding principle in their life would perhaps force them to keep the relationship growing and stimulating.

Really, it all just "depends." On the individuals and the relationship. It is certainly not easy.

10 · 06-23-2005, 12:46 AM

You know pleaser, you've made some very good points (as always). Love truly is a complicated thing. I'm not sure I want any part of it. It's too complicated.

Überschwanz · 06-23-2005, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wanna10incher

Love truly is a complicated thing. I'm not sure I want any part of it. It's too complicated.

I'm guessing you mean this tongue in cheek, right 10?

SonicCelt · 06-23-2005, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wanna10incher

You know pleaser, you've made some very good points (as always). Love truly is a complicated thing. I'm not sure I want any part of it. It's too complicated.

That's why I picture and think about small farm yard animals.....OOPS!! Sorry SPCA...err...ahhh.... It was just a joke.

jennifer · 06-25-2005, 12:53 PM

This joke is about cheating. I want you guys to tell me if you find it funny or offensive, okay?

Two best friends, Al and Joe, share an apartment together. Al is also dating a gorgeous woman named, Jan. One day, Al tells Jan to meet him at the apartment after work and from there they will go out on a date.

Just before Jan arrives, Al calls and tells Joe that he has to work late and to please tell Jan that they will have to re-schedule their date. Joe, sensing a great opportunity, does not give Jan this message.

When she arrives, he gives her beer to drink for two hours as they "wait" for Al. When Joe sees that Jan is very drunk, he tells her that Al had to work late, but she is entirely to drunk to drive home.

Then Joe tells Jan that he thinks she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and that he would like to take her into his bedroom and make mad and passionate love to her.

Because Jan is so drunk and horny, she agrees. After Joe gets her completely naked, he plays with her huge, firm boobs for a little while. A few minutes later, he is now ready to claim his main prize.

Joe spreads Jan's legs and slowly starts to insert his huge, massive, Betterman-conditioned cock into Jan's tight, wet pussy. However, after just one stroke Joe completely withdraws out of her.

When Jan asks Joe why did he pull out, he says, "I just can't do this. I just don't feel right getting my best friend's pussy."

To which Jan responds, "Oh, you are not getting any of Al's pussy. His pussy is another three inches deeper!"

10 · 06-25-2005, 02:18 PM

No, I don't find it offensive.

Peter the Great · 06-25-2005, 02:46 PM

haha...

I like that Jen.

10 · 06-25-2005, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Überschwanz

I'm guessing you mean this tongue in cheek, right 10?

Not really Uber. But, then again, I had somewhat of a bad week so some of that comment does need to be taken with a grain of salt.

happy stud · 06-25-2005, 05:46 PM

I think this joke is funny as hell. Anyone that dont think its funny just dont have a sense of humor. I think the only way someone wouldnt laugh at it is if their dick was as big as Joes.

Nacho_Vidal · 06-25-2005, 08:04 PM

Don't laugh at me. I don't get it, did he screw her anal or what?