Cheating? - Leave 'em or Keep 'em - Page 5

Nacho_Vidal · 07-21-2005, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SonicCelt

Fortunately, among the many languages that uber is familiar with he is obviously fluent in "Nacho"

That was funny, guess I'll have to ask him once in a while to help me get out of trouble.

There are some guys around here that would do self-fellatio, and I don't consider that's cheating, IT WOULD BE if you begin to dislike the way your girl sucks dick and you tell her that you'd better do it yourself.

working4more · 07-21-2005, 09:05 PM

I do believe CHEATING (when you are in a commited relationship) is ANYTHING that you spend time thinking , in DETAIL (which is lusting), about someone or something other than your significant other.

When you lust after another man/woman (according to the Bible) its commiting ADULTERY in your HEART! Its not wrong to find someone ATTRACTIVE, but once that attraction turns into LUST, then its WRONG!

So in MY OPINION: Cyber cex, phone sex, or anything else that will involve using your IMAGINATION, about doing something sexually with someone else other than your significant other, would be considered CHEATING! But thats just ME. : )

working4more · 07-21-2005, 09:11 PM

FYI: I am guilty of LUSTING! and FORNICATING before marriage! : ( I'm not PERFECT! I know whats right and wrong, but even though I fall into some temptations of the flesh. If I am DATING someone (since I'm not married) I am faithful to that particular woman as long as I am with her! : )

Nacho_Vidal · 07-22-2005, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by working4more

FYI: I am guilty of LUSTING! and FORNICATING before marriage! : ( I'm not PERFECT! I know whats right and wrong, but even though I fall into some temptations of the flesh. If I am DATING someone (since I'm not married) I am faithful to that particular woman as long as I am with her! : )

I have read and understood the Bible but just won't do everything that's said there. I believe that my principles and own conscience tell me what is and is not right.

"Temptations of the flesh", don't be so hard on yourself your list of sins will only GET BIGGER as time goes by.

SonicCelt · 07-22-2005, 01:04 AM

I think you are the only person in history who has read the Bible and understood everything in it, that is a big feather in your cap.

Being as W4M said in another post that he was "Saved", then he is not going to get bent about his failures, short-comings or transgressions as he knows his flesh is corruptable and weak but the blood of Christ cleanses him from that guilt if he repents.

But of course I am preaching to the converted Nach because you have read all this in the Bible and understood it already....Right??

pleaser · 07-22-2005, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by working4more

I do believe CHEATING (when you are in a commited relationship) is ANYTHING that you spend time thinking , in DETAIL (which is lusting), about someone or something other than your significant other.

When you lust after another man/woman (according to the Bible) its commiting ADULTERY in your HEART! Its not wrong to find someone ATTRACTIVE, but once that attraction turns into LUST, then its WRONG!

So in MY OPINION: Cyber cex, phone sex, or anything else that will involve using your IMAGINATION, about doing something sexually with someone else other than your significant other, would be considered CHEATING! But thats just ME. : )

Regardless of what the Bible may say, it is my belief that it is far healthier to recognize your desires and lusts than to repress them. By recognizing them and exploring them in your fantasy life, you are less likely to have them steer you into self-destructive or antisocial behavior. I think it is better to have a fantasy about that hottie that lives down the street, even masturbate thinking about her (maybe even imagine having sex with her while you're having sex with your wife) than to try to ignore the attraction and desire. Repressing the emotions can lead to lack of desire for your mate, feelings of guilt and self-loathing, and other negative things. When you keep the pressure bottled up too tight, it tends to explode with a BIG BANG!

happy stud · 07-25-2005, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by working4more

I do believe CHEATING (when you are in a commited relationship) is ANYTHING that you spend time thinking , in DETAIL (which is lusting), about someone or something other than your significant other.

When you lust after another man/woman (according to the Bible) its commiting ADULTERY in your HEART! Its not wrong to find someone ATTRACTIVE, but once that attraction turns into LUST, then its WRONG!

So in MY OPINION: Cyber cex, phone sex, or anything else that will involve using your IMAGINATION, about doing something sexually with someone else other than your significant other, would be considered CHEATING! But thats just ME. : )

Suppose your just doing the cyber sex or phone sex for fun and dont really mean it. Would you still consider that to be cheating?

Nacho_Vidal · 07-25-2005, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SonicCelt

I think you are the only person in history who has read the Bible and understood everything in it, that is a big feather in your cap.

Being as W4M said in another post that he was "Saved", then he is not going to get bent about his failures, short-comings or transgressions as he knows his flesh is corruptable and weak but the blood of Christ cleanses him from that guilt if he repents.

But of course I am preaching to the converted Nach because you have read all this in the Bible and understood it already....Right??

I have read the Bible (maybe about 60% of it), even have discussions about the readings and meanings every once in a while with some customers that are Jehova's Witnesses, but can't say that I understand EVERYTHING that is said in it, "maybe" I have a comment or two about this or that but I can't say that I UNDERSTAND IT THOROUGHLY. A human being, with limited intelligence can't understand something written by illumination of the Holy Spirit?

SonicCelt · 07-25-2005, 08:52 PM

Right on Nacho, good stuff.

kal · 07-26-2005, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by working4more

FYI: I am guilty of LUSTING! and FORNICATING before marriage! : ( I'm not PERFECT! I know whats right and wrong, but even though I fall into some temptations of the flesh. If I am DATING someone (since I'm not married) I am faithful to that particular woman as long as I am with her! : )

Speaking of marriage, people should not be concerned about "lust", or "fornicating" before marriage. Marriage, whether it is religious or civil, is useless. You can't sign a paper in order to unite 2 living individuals who are bound to change because they are alive. A child chooses clothes that fit, and when he outgrows them, they are disposed of for different clothes, or else they are torn to pieces. People are bound to change over time. When 2 people no longer get along, they should'nt remain together, or else their "marriage" will become hell. All living beings evolve. If at some point you no longer like the person like you used to because one of you has changed, you should part retaining happy memories of your time together, instead of spoiling it with useless bickering which induces hostility.

10 · 07-26-2005, 04:39 AM

Kal, you've never been married have you? You speak as though your an expert on what two people should do when a marriage falls apart.

Having been married AND divorced, I can tell you that it really is a bit more complicated than you make it sound. It's not easy to just "part ways when you no longer like the person you're with". It's very, very difficult. To admit that you failed at marriage and that a sacred unity before God and your family and friends is coming to an end is very, very hard to deal with, no matter how "right" it is to do it.

You somehow make it sound so black and white kal when, in reality, there is soooooo much grey involved. I suppose in a perfect world, things could be as you suggest, but being that we don't live in a perfect world, things are far from the way you think they should be in terms of relationships.

Don't get me wrong dude, I'm not trying to ride you on this. I'm just trying to point out that it really is a bit more involved than you make it sound. I only bring this up as I've got the experience to speak of.

jennifer · 07-26-2005, 01:11 PM

I'm afraid, Kal, what you described is the relationship a person has with their car. Unfortunately, relationships with people are much more serious and much more complicated.

As I stated in another post, compromise and sacrifice are very important in any successful relationship. When one or both parties are unwilling or unable to compromise and sacrifice, then that relationship very well may not work out.

One of the biggest problems in our society today is people "quitting" a relationship far too early instead of trying to work at making it stronger. So many people would rather walk away and HOPE they can find someone else.

There is no doubt that, yes, some relationships should end. That conclusion, however, should not be made in a very short period of time, but only after both parties really try to see if the relationship can be salvaged.

Jennifer

working4more · 07-26-2005, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy stud

Suppose your just doing the cyber sex or phone sex for fun and dont really mean it. Would you still consider that to be cheating?

If you were dating or married to somebody, wouldnt it be MORE FUN to have REAL sex with them. Instead of "fun" fake sex with somebody else?.....

But its all in how a certain individual see's things. Whats cheating to me, could be considered "just having fun" to some else.

kal · 07-26-2005, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

I'm afraid, Kal, what you described is the relationship a person has with their car. Unfortunately, relationships with people are much more serious and much more complicated.

As I stated in another post, compromise and sacrifice are very important in any successful relationship. When one or both parties are unwilling or unable to compromise and sacrifice, then that relationship very well may not work out.

One of the biggest problems in our society today is people "quitting" a relationship far too early instead of trying to work at making it stronger. So many people would rather walk away and HOPE they can find someone else.

There is no doubt that, yes, some relationships should end. That conclusion, however, should not be made in a very short period of time, but only after both parties really try to see if the relationship can be salvaged.

Jennifer

I'm basically saying that marriage is simply a public proclamation of ownership of another person. When we feel loved, then we feel free to love, but when we have signed a contract, we feel like prisoners who are forced to love eachother, and sooner or later, we will begin to resent eachother.

10:
I believe in "free love", and I would not make the mistake of entering into marriage in the first place, because like I said earlier, even if you love someone right now, everyone changes, and you two could grow apart. Notice we see alot of marriages end in divorce.

pleaser · 07-26-2005, 08:23 PM

I think there is a middle ground. Yes, people change and sometimes it is best to end a relationship. But sometimes there is a tremendous reward in working together to overcome the problems that make it seem to be easier to cut and run. There is something to be said for making the comittment to do everything possible to make a lifetime together. Of course there may come a time when it is clear that happiness will not return and then it makes sense to end it.

Nacho_Vidal · 07-26-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kal

I'm basically saying that marriage is simply a public proclamation of ownership of another person. When we feel loved, then we feel free to love, but when we have signed a contract, we feel like prisoners who are forced to love eachother, and sooner or later, we will begin to resent eachother.

10:
I believe in "free love", and I would not make the mistake of entering into marriage in the first place, because like I said earlier, even if you love someone right now, everyone changes, and you two could grow apart. Notice we see alot of marriages end in divorce.

- I wouldn't say OWNERSHIP, it's more like a COMMITMENT MADE PUBLIC to each other, I agree with you that the "contract" gives you as you said some sort of "rights", but remember it is based on FREE WILL, signing will not make you love the other person by obligation.

- I'll agree with you that some people feel like prisoners when married, but I'm sure they didn't have the "genuine" kind of love when they first agreed to get married. What bad could a "contract" between you and the one you love do to you? (If DEEPLY in love).

- At this present time I'm not a pro-marriage person either, I like my "freedom" and enjoy some personal space but I can't say I'll never marry if I met the woman of my life and would like to share the rest of my life with her.

- I agree with 10 that decisions about marriages are a lot more complicated that just black this and white that.

I hope you fall in love at some point in your life and I'm sure you won't believe the crazy things you'll do man. Good luck.

mojo22 · 10-12-2005, 02:50 AM

If I were ever cheated on, I would definitly leave that person...i honestly have no respect for those who cheat....the way i see it is that the person who cheated on you doesn't care about your dignity at all, and that can be very hurtful...i think giving them another chance would be just plain foolish....if they did it once, they can do it again

As for the cyber thing...how does a person have time to type something and pleasure themselves...to me people who cyber has got to be the biggest losers on the face of the earth....people these days can't have sex on a physical level, so they turn to their keyboard to get some...

quick drama

husband: " Maria i want you to tell me who you're having an affair with"
wife: " I'm so sorry, but I guess you have a right to know. It's your keyboard, mouse, palm pilot, usb cables, scanner, printer......."

the next day

wife: and thats just about it.
husband: eh?
wife:" it all started when i saw the letters on that keyboard, then one thing led to another, then it became an obsession...it satisfied me in a way you never could!!!!" DON DON DOOON!

jennifer · 10-12-2005, 03:32 AM

Actually, cybersex gets me quite horny for the real thing!

JonPop · 10-12-2005, 03:43 AM

Tell Mike to write me a thank you note. Hahaha.

jennifer · 10-12-2005, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Tell Mike to write me a thank you note. Hahaha.

Trust me, he thinks all of you guys are great!

happy stud · 10-12-2005, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Actually, cybersex gets me quite horny for the real thing!

Well hell Jennifer if thats the case how about some pussy for me tonight since the stupid bitch I thought I was going to fuck only wanted to watch tv.

Überschwanz · 10-12-2005, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Actually, cybersex gets me quite horny for the real thing!

Same here.

want8 · 10-12-2005, 10:16 PM

Well, I have had one experience with this. I met this chick on the net and one thing lead to another and we started phone calling and writing letters and even a little phone sex. Got caught. It really opened my eyes and made me realize how important my wife and family were to me. She forgave me and 3 years later we are fine. But, it was very tough! I know I lost my wife's trust to a certain extent, but I worked very hard to gain it back. We never actually had physical sex, but it was still cheating. I actually did this because I was not satisfied with my sex life at home. We also discussed this after I got caught, and now we have a better sex life and communicate better than ever. So, maybe it opened her eye's too.

Überschwanz · 10-12-2005, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by want8

Well, I have had one experience with this. I met this chick on the net and one thing lead to another and we started phone calling and writing letters and even a little phone sex. Got caught. It really opened my eyes and made me realize how important my wife and family were to me. She forgave me and 3 years later we are fine. But, it was very tough! I know I lost my wife's trust to a certain extent, but I worked very hard to gain it back. We never actually had physical sex, but it was still cheating. I actually did this because I was not satisfied with my sex life at home. We also discussed this after I got caught, and now we have a better sex life and communicate better than ever. So, maybe it opened her eye's too.

That's a valuable lesson.

mojo22 · 10-13-2005, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Actually, cybersex gets me quite horny for the real thing!

you dont need cybersex...i have plenty of mojo i can spare...all you have to do is ask....

Überschwanz · 10-14-2005, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo22

you dont need cybersex...i have plenty of mojo i can spare...all you have to do is ask....

Roofies don't count.

want8 · 10-14-2005, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Überschwanz

That's a valuable lesson.

Yeah you are so right. We have been married for 19 years and I will never do anything to disrupt us again. Once you have been with someone that long, well, for me anyway, it is like you can't loose them! When you really get to thinking about it, you realize, I can't live without this person. And like I said, this is just me.

eodman12 · 10-15-2005, 02:43 AM

I was cheated on by my ex-wife while I was on deployment and after that. However, I stayed for a few months after this because I didn't want a divorce not because I cared about her but because I didn't want a divorce like my parents.

However, nowadays my view has changed. I wouldn't stay with a woman if I didn't feel anything for her anymore. However, I think it depends on the situation. I believe that if my current woman cheated on me I could probably forgive her depending on the circumstances behind the cheating. I would be betrayed and would be hurt but I could move on. I think this is because I care alot more for this woman then my ex, who I couldnt forgive, So Hmm. I wonder if that makes sense.

-Phil

10 · 10-15-2005, 02:58 AM

I was married for 7 years. 7 of the LONGEST years of my life. I fought the divorce thing for years because of my two kids but also because I didn't want to become another national statistic. There was no infidelity involved in our marriage but both of us did some very, very stupid things to one another during our marriage.

1997-2003 was the darkest period of my life. Imagine being married to someone who couldn't stand 3/4 of the things in life that made you smile, that considered you a complete and total professional failure and had no respect or regard for you as a man. That's what I dealt with for 7 years my friends. Why? I have no fucking idea.

Now, in 2005, I'm mentally healthier and happier, I've got two great kids and my life keeps getting better and better with each passing day. Now that I look back on my relationship with her, it served a purpose but wasn't meant to last. And, over the past two years that we've been separated and divorced, I've learned so much about who I am as a man and have learned to love myself as the genuine man that I am. Now that I look at her and myself, I can't imagine why I ever married her, we're so different and on two different emotional levels.

I'm not advocating divorce. I think it should be used as a last resort. My ex and I knew it just wasn't going to work as there simply was no mutual love or respect for each other and the fact that we made two kids together wasn't enough to keep us together.

I'm divorced. I'm happy and I'll never allow another woman to come into my life and treat me the way the first one did. I'd rather die a bachelor and be single the rest of my days than put up with that shit ever again. Don't get me wrong, I think marriage is a wonderful institution so long as the two parties involved enter into the pact on the same love and respect levels. I hope to remarry someday. We'll see.

jennifer · 10-15-2005, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo22

you dont need cybersex...i have plenty of mojo i can spare...all you have to do is ask....

Well, let's see it here in this forum!!

Wolff · 10-28-2005, 08:56 PM

Well, call me old-fashioned, but in regards to the second question, I don't cheat, so it would never be an issue.

In regards to the first, trust is important in a relationship. If they were cheating, I don't think I could trust them.
I may love them, but case closed, they're not deserving of my commitment, and they'll only cause me pain. Dumped.

Long Stroke · 11-30-2005, 02:50 PM

Answer to Question #1

I dont think I would be able to being that once I'm in a relationship, I'm committed to that person. I have been in relationships in the past where I cheated and others where they cheated on me. But I learned and getting older changes things.So when I'm with someone I give my all to them mentally,emotionally,and most definitly physically. So there shouldnt be any reason to cheat, she does she gotta go. period.

happy stud · 12-01-2005, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Long Stroke

Answer to Question #1

So there shouldnt be any reason to cheat, she does she gotta go. period.

Hey Long Stroke I agree man. Theres to much pussy out there if they cant behave then move on to the next one man.

southern tz · 06-01-2008, 04:52 PM

I really enjoyed reading this thread very much. If flirting with y'all or fantaszing about being pounded by some of your huge cocks means I have been cheating on my bf, then I guess I am guilty.

Personally, I think every person (including St. Susan!!) occasionally will have a lustful thought about someone else. So what? As long as you do not take it to the next level and physically act on that lust, then I don't think it is cheating.

My bf knows I flirt with y'all here and he has no problem with it. He likes it when I read him some of the PMs y'all write telling me what you would like to sexually do to me. It's a turn on to both of us. Of course, if I ever acted on any of this, then he would be furious, which I don't blame him.

Loki · 06-01-2008, 06:56 PM

Get rid of them and move on ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!