04-14-2006, 07:01 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Posts: 96
| need some (helpful) advice OK, here's the situation, me and my current girlfriend have been together for a little under a year and a half, about 11 months into the relationship, another partner(female) was introduced to relationship, voluntarily and by my gf (shes bisexual), at first it was just to experiment, and it was a wild night on christmas and new years eve, but after that its starting to look as if shes an addition to the relationship, which is not an exact problem as i care for her alot. But i know situations like this do not end well, because when i'm not with my gf, i'm with my other gf, and both are very aware of the situations.
I guess my dilemma is that i love my girlfriend very much, and i'm not sure if she'll fall for the other female, i've asked her and she said she won't, and she said i have nothing to worry about. and guys, before you all yell out and give me props, let me say this shit is tiring, and it takes a toll on you physically and emotionally, which is why i wanted a womans perspective, my gf says shes not jealous when me and aforementioned girl hangs out, but i know how my gf is. thanks in advance.
Last edited by JaX; 04-19-2006 at 09:02 PM.
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04-14-2006, 07:07 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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| It sounds like your girlfriend feels really comfortable with you and trusts you. I see no reason why you can't do the same with her. If you do want to discuss this with her, be careful. Don't seem at all jealous because she'll just recoil from you and you'll wind up with 0 girls. It's easy to see why this is hard for you to deal with. Guys naturally get a little jealous when someone else has the attention of their girl. The ex-boyfriend of one of my friends had jealousy issues and she broke up with him after a year and a half relationship because he couldn't stand her having other male friends like myself. Don't be jealous. It's how you control those feelings that will make all the difference.
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04-14-2006, 09:53 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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| i'm not exactly jealous, i'm more cautious as to whats to become of the whole situation you know? its very feasible that the third female in our relationship could fall for me, i have already spoke to her regarding these situations, which she kinda blows off and says we'll discuss them when it happens, which i understand, but knowing how my gf is, she tends to not think rationally when shes upset. i guess i'm just saying i don't want this thing to come back and bite me in the ass. |
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04-14-2006, 10:09 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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| Quote: |
Originally Posted by JaX ...third female... | You mean second right? Damn I would love to be fucking 3 different girls.
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04-14-2006, 10:24 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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| lol yeah second, sorry bro |
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04-14-2006, 11:39 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: At Renee's, getting my cock sucked
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| I can't help any with this one. I'm a one woman kind of guy. Those threesome things might be good for one night or so but not a permanent situation.
Ironically though, I just saw this exact scenario on Dr. Phil last week. A guy was married to his wife and also had a girlfriend living with them in the same house. Really weird! And, the husband and wife had 2 or 3 kids, don't remember exactly and the girlfriend was now pregnant with his baby. Both the wife and girlfriend had been sharing the husband and both plan on breastfeeding the baby.
Crazy shit but I guess it's out there.
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04-14-2006, 11:41 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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| no way i could ever have kids and a girlfriend on the side with my wife, theres just something morally wrong about that in my opinion. lol Dr. phil..that guy kills me sometimes. |
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04-14-2006, 11:44 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by JaX no way i could ever have kids and a girlfriend on the side with my wife, theres just something morally wrong about that in my opinion. lol Dr. phil..that guy kills me sometimes. |
These two saw nothing wrong with it. In fact, the girlfriend was teaching the children of the husband and wife about sex and showing them dildos and vibrators and all sorts of kinky shit. Some of these kids were as young as 3 years!!!!!! WTF!!!!! The girlfriend and the husband had a sex swing installed in the bedroom that they proudly display for all to see.
JaX, be VERY careful dude.
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04-14-2006, 11:51 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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| haha i don't think my situation is THAT bad, at least both of my lovers are 'ladies' about it. |
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04-15-2006, 12:57 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by JaX haha i don't think my situation is THAT bad, at least both of my lovers are 'ladies' about it. |
All I'm saying is just be careful. These two weren't ladies at all in my book. A couple of trash whores. And what's worse, they're raising kids!!!!!
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04-19-2006, 08:58 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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| i'd like to get a females opinion on this matter if its possible =/. please? |
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04-20-2006, 12:49 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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| My man, you need to listen to the Oak Ridge Boy's song titled: "Trying to love two women is like a ball and chain."
__________________ "It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers! In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late. Accordingly , I'm readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and I'll, in turn, do my best for the Cause by writing editorials- after the fact."
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04-20-2006, 07:11 AM
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#13 (permalink)
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| i'm not in love with the other woman..and she knows it, so does my gf.. |
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04-20-2006, 12:27 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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| Hi Jax. If you are getting very serious about your girlfriend, I would suggest slowly distancing yourself from the other woman. Although your g/f says she is not jealous, generally speaking, most women would be jealous about their guy screwing another woman.
Tell both of them how you feel and how you want to make a commitment to just your g/f. Let your g/f know that you think she is very special and you want to end your little experiment with this other woman and be committed to just her. Tell the other woman the same thing but obviously be very nice and polite about it. |
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04-20-2006, 02:49 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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| Hey Jax, how old are you and the 2 women? If you guys are all young then this is something that will probably pass with time. If so, enjoy every mintue of it! Another thought is try and find the other woman a guy to get to know.
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04-20-2006, 05:42 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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| i'm 23, my gf is 19 and the other woman is 21, jennifer, me and my girlfriend are very serious, we've even spoke of marriage (well she does for the most part lol) and we've been together for about a year and a half. this other female knows how i feel about my gf, considering she was both of our's friend before hand you know? also she knows how i feel about it now, i think my gf is just wanting to have fun, but how she can sit back and watch another woman give me head and fuck me, i'll never, before this three way even started i told my gf i felt guilty about sleeping with another woman, but since she's bi sexual, and me being a male, i know there are somethings i can't offer like her like a female can. *sigh* thanks for the help guys, actually wish i could meet some of you sometime, you all seem great. |
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04-21-2006, 12:36 AM
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#17 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: At Renee's, getting my cock sucked
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| Thank you JaX, we are great!!
As to your situation, your young dude. You all are. The last thing any of you should be doing is discussing marriage. You need to enjoy your lives for a while and just enjoy being single and free to do what you what and with whom.
Speaking from experience here, don't get married too young. Big mistake. For right now man, just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you. If there is a situation that arises with this other female and you're not comfortable with it, tell her and be honest with her. She can't fault you for that. If your girlfriend has no problem laying back watching you and her friend have sex but you do, then don't engage. Good luck.
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04-21-2006, 03:29 PM
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#18 (permalink)
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| Man, most guys would give their left nut to be in your shoes! Shit, just have fun with them! You guys are way to young to be worried about anything. Damn, 2 women in bed with me! I am all in!
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04-21-2006, 06:34 PM
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#19 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada
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| 23?????? You got more imortant things to worry about, school, work/career, build a car, workouts at the gym, playing a sport, getting loaded. You keep worrying about your women and you're going to turn into one  Get your priorities straight. ( This has been a paid announcement and in no ways reflects views or policies of this station ) |
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04-28-2006, 06:25 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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| Quote: |
Originally Posted by want8 Man, most guys would give their left nut to be in your shoes! Shit, just have fun with them! You guys are way to young to be worried about anything. Damn, 2 women in bed with me! I am all in! |
yeah..i don't really brag about it, but my guy friends that know of it, think i'm even more lucky when they find out one is japanese and the other is korean. |
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05-04-2006, 03:06 PM
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#21 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by JaX yeah..i don't really brag about it, but my guy friends that know of it, think i'm even more lucky when they find out one is japanese and the other is korean. | You lucky dog! Well listen, if they get to be too much for you, give me a shout. We here at Betterman are all here to help! LOL I will set in for you and take some of the pressure off of you! And I would bet there are plenty other volunteers!
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05-05-2006, 12:47 AM
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#22 (permalink)
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| lol i'll keep that in mind man. |
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05-05-2006, 02:20 AM
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#23 (permalink)
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| I'll get in line and offer my assistance.
__________________ You're sister is HOT... but your mom does that thing with her tongue! PE for length: so her heart stops when she sees it. PE for girth: to get her heart started again!
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06-04-2006, 02:06 AM
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#24 (permalink)
| | Minister of Philosophy, Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Life is the Light that makes all Darkness recede
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Originally Posted by JaX yeah..i don't really brag about it, but my guy friends that know of it, think i'm even more lucky when they find out one is japanese and the other is korean. | Well my $.02 is: It sounds as if your the one that feels uncomfortable. So, the way I see it. All parties need to sit down and express your feelings like adults. There shouldn't be any reason for anybody to get upset. From what you've said. All parties are down with it. But, if someone does get upset. Then my guess would be for 1 of 2 reasons. The person isn't being honest with you or the person wants a very open relationship. So if you have 2 women. Then she may want or have 2 men. This may be her way of lessening the guilt she may feel by seeing a guy without you knowing. If your not comfortable with the situation. She may see it as you trying to ruin all situations.
Feel The Waters. Listen To Your Soul.
One more thing. It's good to see someone that isn't shallow. I admire that.Some people wouldn't give a second thought to what the other feelings may be.
Last edited by Betterman; 06-04-2006 at 02:10 AM.
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06-04-2006, 04:45 PM
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#25 (permalink)
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Posts: 538
| I just read all of this, Jax, and if you are really in love with your girlfriend and want to marry her some day, I would sever the sexual relations with the other girl. At first I am sure it was fun for all three of you, i.e. the excitement, curiosity, etc., however, as you and your girlfriend have grown closer, you should show her how much you care for her and quit having sex with this other girl.
She very well might be testing you to see what your response is going to be here. All I know is if I were your girlfriend and we were getting serious, I would not be wanting you to have sex with anyone else. It's hard to describe, I guess, but it's kind of a loyalty thing females are looking for in a guy. In other words, is your girfriend special enough for you that you are willing on your own to give up sex with other girls? |
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06-04-2006, 07:50 PM
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#26 (permalink)
| | Minister of Information, Moderator Reserve
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In bed with YOUR girl...
Posts: 2,373
| It's great to get another female perspective but you are coming from a heterosexual perspective... I think you're forgetting that it was his gf that introduced the third girl in the first place and claims to be bi-sexual. What he should do is talk it out with his gf and find out what SHE really wants and not make decisions for her... JMO. |
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06-05-2006, 03:10 PM
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#27 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 538
| Those are some valid points you made, sikdogg. However, I think there are certain levels to dating. When a couple first starts going out, I would say that is casual dating, in which both parties are simply out having fun and “getting to know one another”. They are generally much more tolerant at this stage of their relationship than when/if they become more serious.
There is no timetable here. Some couples progress more rapidly and some more slowly than others. Some, after a certain period of time, realize they are not meant for one another and move on their own separate ways.
If the couple “feel” something for one another and then move to serious dating, then certain “commitments” start to take place. I certainly do not know any of these three people who are involved in this relationship. I was simply going on what Jax said that his girlfriend has been thinking about marriage somewhere in the future.
It very well might not bother his girlfriend at all about Jax still having sex with this other woman. Certainly every woman is different, but I would think most women when they get serious about a guy would change their attitudes on certain issues, especially sex.
To ask his girlfriend should he continue to have sex with the other woman, puts his girlfriend in an extremely awkward position. She may say it doesn’t bother her because she doesn’t want to upset either her boyfriend or this other woman. If she tells the truth, she may feel her boyfriend might view her as being jealous or insecure.
This is very difficult for me to answer because I am not bi-sexual and have never dated and probably never will seriously date a guy who also is having sex with one of my friends. Regardless of whether Jax’s girlfriend is bi-sexual or not, I just think most women at her age would eventually get jealous of their boyfriend/husband having sex with another woman.
Most women at her age (his girlfriend is 19) are just not that secure with themselves to get serious with a guy and not eventually get jealous or resentful with this other woman and her boyfriend or husband. Granted, after a period of time and the couple grows together, both the woman and man might be able to handle this situation, but not people as young as Jax and his girlfriend. |
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06-05-2006, 05:55 PM
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#28 (permalink)
| | Minister of Information, Moderator Reserve
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In bed with YOUR girl...
Posts: 2,373
| You make some great points... i must admit that i didn't realize how young his GF was as that can make a big difference. At 19, i don't think most guys/girls are capable of real honest communication. The point i was trying to make was that she has to be able to verbalize her true feeling to him, if she can't or is afraid to for any reason then she's not ready for a serious relationship.
I believe that every sound relationship begins and ends with communication... both parties must be able to honestly tell their partner their true feelings/intent. Without this, there is just no way they can last as a couple. |
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06-05-2006, 09:48 PM
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#29 (permalink)
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Posts: 3,315
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by sikdogg Without this, there is just no way they can las | | |