Female Perspective on Relationships

jennifer · 06-11-2006, 07:09 PM

This is a thread that is to be devoted to relationship issues. If you have a question, problem, concern or comment about anything regarding relationships, and want a female perspective, please write it here.

If you are shy or embarrassed about your issue, please PM me and I will post it for you. Thanks!

Überschwanz · 06-11-2006, 07:31 PM

This thread is worthy of a sticky I think. This is one of the reasons we have a women's forum.

want8 · 06-12-2006, 02:57 PM

I agree Uber. Great idea Jen!

southern belle · 06-13-2006, 07:58 PM

Since I do not know most of y'all, I was curious to find out something about each of you. If you were single and were dating a woman you really liked, how many weeks or months would you date her until she had sex with you? If you really liked her a lot but she wouldn't have sex with you, would you break up with her or this issue?

sikdogg · 06-13-2006, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southern belle

... If you were single and were dating a woman you really liked, how many weeks or months would you date her until she had sex with you?

Two dates... if she's not willing to have sex after the second date, then it's time to move on.

Quote:

If you really liked her a lot but she wouldn't have sex with you, would you break up with her or this issue?

Yes, most definietely... i wouldn't be looking for a virgin nor would i want one so if she's willing to have sex with another man but not me, then she's not the right woman for me or i'm not the right man for her.

rocky6535 · 06-13-2006, 10:09 PM

There goes a man who knows what he wants.

Betterman · 06-14-2006, 01:44 AM

The way I see it. If you enjoy her company. Have fun when your together. Seems as if you both are connecting in all other ways, except on the sex issue. Just don't call it a "Date". Go have a good time with your new friend.

Side Note: Great Idea Jennifer!

slickwillie · 06-14-2006, 12:58 PM

I thought only gay guys had "girl-friends"? :)
I'm not sure I could put a time or number of dates before a new girlfriend and I would wait before having sex, but there's no reason (in my mind) to play games or delay the obvious, right? Sex rules! I'll never forget something my wife said to me shortly after we first me (didn't last a week before having sex). We were in bed at my place just messing around in bed and she was getting very hot and horny and I was being the "gentleman" and not pushing the sex thing at all. She turns and looks me in the eyes and says (and I quote) "Fuck the bullshit", which pretty much meant lets screw the shit out of each other and leave all the games behind us. Needless to say, almost 8 years later we've got an awesome relationship and still "Fuck the bullshit" just about everyday! :)
Anyway, thought I'd share that quote with everyone because we still use it from time-to-time and it's funny as hell (to us at least). To answer the questions, I wouldn't have waited too long (regardless of how hot a woman was) and I may not stop seeing a woman/girlfriend, but I'd let her know up front that I'll be having sex with other women. If she doesn't understand, then we're not right for each other (I hope that doesn't sound crude or something, but there's a million people out there and I'm not interested in the women that don't like to bone)... The same applies to the guys (I guess) because some ladies just want a piece of ass to get them through a rough time or just because it's been a while, so it's definitely a 2 way street!

want8 · 06-14-2006, 02:16 PM

If I really like a girl because of personality or sense of humor or looks or whatever, then yes, I wouldn't push the sex issue. But that's not to say I wouldn't get a peace of ass somewhere else, just to satisfy needs. And like dogg, I would probably try after 2 dates, but if she wasn't ready, I wouldn't push her, I would just get it somewhere else.

10 · 06-14-2006, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southern belle

Since I do not know most of y'all, I was curious to find out something about each of you. If you were single and were dating a woman you really liked, how many weeks or months would you date her until she had sex with you? If you really liked her a lot but she wouldn't have sex with you, would you break up with her or this issue?

I can answer this as I'm single (divorced actually). This is actually very easy, I would have sex with her as soon as she was ready. Chances are, the type of woman I'm looking for wouldn't be willing to drop her thong on the first date. This being said, if I really, REALLY liked her and felt there was something there, I'd give it some time. I might even be inclined to hold off and wait until she initiates.........that's a huge turn on for me.

As to the second part of your question Belle, when you mean she wouldn't have sex with you, are you talking about at the onset of the relationship or just period? I can't see how any guy would date a woman he really, really liked and would continue to do so if she wasn't willing ever to get down and dirty with him. At the onset I can certainly see as you're both still feeling each other out but after a respectable amount of time, I would almost expect sex to start becoming part of the equation.

If the woman I was dating was as much into me as I was into her, it wouldn't make sense for her to NOT want to have sex. Would I break it off? Only if she simply refused to do it with me..........why date her?

10 · 06-14-2006, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slickwillie

I thought only gay guys had "girl-friends"? :)
I'm not sure I could put a time or number of dates before a new girlfriend and I would wait before having sex, but there's no reason (in my mind) to play games or delay the obvious, right? Sex rules! I'll never forget something my wife said to me shortly after we first me (didn't last a week before having sex). We were in bed at my place just messing around in bed and she was getting very hot and horny and I was being the "gentleman" and not pushing the sex thing at all. She turns and looks me in the eyes and says (and I quote) "Fuck the bullshit", which pretty much meant lets screw the shit out of each other and leave all the games behind us. Needless to say, almost 8 years later we've got an awesome relationship and still "Fuck the bullshit" just about everyday! :)
Anyway, thought I'd share that quote with everyone because we still use it from time-to-time and it's funny as hell (to us at least). To answer the questions, I wouldn't have waited too long (regardless of how hot a woman was) and I may not stop seeing a woman/girlfriend, but I'd let her know up front that I'll be having sex with other women. If she doesn't understand, then we're not right for each other (I hope that doesn't sound crude or something, but there's a million people out there and I'm not interested in the women that don't like to bone)... The same applies to the guys (I guess) because some ladies just want a piece of ass to get them through a rough time or just because it's been a while, so it's definitely a 2 way street!

Man, that's the kind of woman I need!

Überschwanz · 06-14-2006, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

I can answer this as I'm single (divorced actually). This is actually very easy, I would have sex with her as soon as she was ready. Chances are, the type of woman I'm looking for wouldn't be willing to drop her thong on the first date. This being said, if I really, REALLY liked her and felt there was something there, I'd give it some time. I might even be inclined to hold off and wait until she initiates.........that's a huge turn on for me.

As to the second part of your question Belle, when you mean she wouldn't have sex with you, are you talking about at the onset of the relationship or just period? I can't see how any guy would date a woman he really, really liked and would continue to do so if she wasn't willing ever to get down and dirty with him. At the onset I can certainly see as you're both still feeling each other out but after a respectable amount of time, I would almost expect sex to start becoming part of the equation.

If the woman I was dating was as much into me as I was into her, it wouldn't make sense for her to NOT want to have sex. Would I break it off? Only if she simply refused to do it with me..........why date her?

Ditto to what 10 said.

JonPop · 06-14-2006, 04:55 PM

Dang. All ya horny youngin's. Aint ya never heard of savin' y'self for marriage? Gheeesh.

sikdogg · 06-14-2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Dang. All ya horny youngin's. Aint ya never heard of savin' y'self for marriage? Gheeesh.

If i wasn't married today (for whatever reason) and began dating again... i would have no intentions of ever getting married again. I have nothing against marriage and am dearly in love with my wife but if i ever became single again, i don't think i have it in ne to marry again. I would keep my life as simple as possible (guy friends to hang out with and girlfriends to have sex with). Marriage would only complicate things...

happy stud · 06-15-2006, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slickwillie

She turns and looks me in the eyes and says (and I quote) "Fuck the bullshit", which pretty much meant lets screw the shit out of each other and leave all the games behind us.

Hey man are you married to Jennifer?

Betterman · 06-15-2006, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slickwillie

I thought only gay guys had "girl-friends"? :)

Well I'm not Gay. I also have lots of girlfriends. Also, my girlfriends and I don't Fuck either. You may want to try it. Sometimes you gotta think of more than just the "One" thing.

It sure is fun to flirt though. Keeps you feeling young. It also allows you to test different methods. Just to see if you still have it or not.

JonPop · 06-15-2006, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

Well I'm not Gay. I also have lots of girlfriends. Also, my girlfriends and I don't Fuck either. You may want to try it. Sometimes you gotta think of more than just the "One" thing.

I've had lot's of girlfriends that I never fucked. Of course the friendship only lasted a week or so. Hee.

Betterman · 06-15-2006, 02:26 AM

If any of you get a chance. Try to read Dale Carnegie's - How to win friends and influence people. It's really informative. I got a softback copy off E-Bay for 3 bucks. Then got the Audiobook. It explains how everyday interaction all pivots on the human emotions.

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sikdogg

Two dates... if she's not willing to have sex after the second date, then it's time to move on.

Yes, most definietely... i wouldn't be looking for a virgin nor would i want one so if she's willing to have sex with another man but not me, then she's not the right woman for me or i'm not the right man for her.

Wow! 2 dates and you would move on? Are you and happy stud related? Y'all are more interested in a sexual relationship than anything else. Would that be correct? What if you really, really liked her a lot? Enough to one day marry. Still only two dates?

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

The way I see it. If you enjoy her company. Have fun when your together. Seems as if you both are connecting in all other ways, except on the sex issue. Just don't call it a "Date". Go have a good time with your new friend.

Side Note: Great Idea Jennifer!

So you wouldn't push the sex issue, Betterman? Suppose you dated her for 6 months and still no sex. Would that still be all right with you?

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slickwillie

I thought only gay guys had "girl-friends"? :)
I'm not sure I could put a time or number of dates before a new girlfriend and I would wait before having sex, but there's no reason (in my mind) to play games or delay the obvious, right? Sex rules! I'll never forget something my wife said to me shortly after we first me (didn't last a week before having sex). We were in bed at my place just messing around in bed and she was getting very hot and horny and I was being the "gentleman" and not pushing the sex thing at all. She turns and looks me in the eyes and says (and I quote) "Fuck the bullshit", which pretty much meant lets screw the shit out of each other and leave all the games behind us. Needless to say, almost 8 years later we've got an awesome relationship and still "Fuck the bullshit" just about everyday! :)
Anyway, thought I'd share that quote with everyone because we still use it from time-to-time and it's funny as hell (to us at least). To answer the questions, I wouldn't have waited too long (regardless of how hot a woman was) and I may not stop seeing a woman/girlfriend, but I'd let her know up front that I'll be having sex with other women. If she doesn't understand, then we're not right for each other (I hope that doesn't sound crude or something, but there's a million people out there and I'm not interested in the women that don't like to bone)... The same applies to the guys (I guess) because some ladies just want a piece of ass to get them through a rough time or just because it's been a while, so it's definitely a 2 way street!

So, slickwillie, let's say you dated a woman who you really, really liked quite a lot. However, she only desired sex once a week but you wanted it every night. Would you cheat on her to get the additional sex? Or, would you tell her if she doesn't put out more you will find it someplace else?

Betterman · 06-15-2006, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southern belle

So you wouldn't push the sex issue, Betterman? Suppose you dated her for 6 months and still no sex. Would that still be all right with you?

If we were spending that much time together. I would imagine it would grow intimate eventually. That is, if she had the same attraction to me as I did for her. If it was plutonic from one side. Then I would say someone's going to Act the Fool. Well before 6 months.

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

I can answer this as I'm single (divorced actually). This is actually very easy, I would have sex with her as soon as she was ready. Chances are, the type of woman I'm looking for wouldn't be willing to drop her thong on the first date. This being said, if I really, REALLY liked her and felt there was something there, I'd give it some time. I might even be inclined to hold off and wait until she initiates.........that's a huge turn on for me.

As to the second part of your question Belle, when you mean she wouldn't have sex with you, are you talking about at the onset of the relationship or just period? I can't see how any guy would date a woman he really, really liked and would continue to do so if she wasn't willing ever to get down and dirty with him. At the onset I can certainly see as you're both still feeling each other out but after a respectable amount of time, I would almost expect sex to start becoming part of the equation.

If the woman I was dating was as much into me as I was into her, it wouldn't make sense for her to NOT want to have sex. Would I break it off? Only if she simply refused to do it with me..........why date her?

That's nice to know, 10. So, with you, sex isn't the only thing you are after in a relationship, right?

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Dang. All ya horny youngin's. Aint ya never heard of savin' y'self for marriage? Gheeesh.

Yes, you tell them JonPop! (Not that I think any of them will listen!)

southern belle · 06-15-2006, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

I've had lot's of girlfriends that I never fucked. Of course the friendship only lasted a week or so. Hee.

Is this the time to remind you of what you wrote in #13? (Are you related to happy stud, too?)