Ribald Bible stories. - Page 2

Überschwanz · 08-18-2007, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

I hate it when the story leaves me hangin' till the next episode.

Heh, heh. You said hangin'.

happy stud · 08-18-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

As they lay side by side on the bed, Maurice half turned and placed his large hand upon Jennifer's right breast and proceeded to kneed the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Jennifer placed her small hand on Maurice's rock hard penis and just grasped the shaft without moving her hand. Jennifer said, "Maurice, I know that you left the city without receiving proper reward for your service and sacrifice for the king and Samson, because of your disfigurement. I know also that the king had many soldiers looking for you so that you might have been justly rewarded for your deeds." She continued, "I wish now, to give you my personal reward and to help you receive what is right and justly yours."
With that, Jennifer bent forward and placed Maurice's large penis into her soft mouth.

Shall I continue in this style to the conclusion of the story?

I just love a blow job before fucking. I can last alot longer after the first time.

JonPop · 08-18-2007, 05:07 PM

Maurice recoiled as if he had been bitten and jerked his penis from Jennifer's mouth. "What are you doing, woman?" He yelled.
Jennifer looked startled and said, "Oh, Maurice, I am just trying to give you pleasure." "I found that my late husband very much enjoyed what I was about to do for you." Maurice said, "Only wicked, immoral and sinful women do an act such as this."
(As were the times, the only accepted ways of sex were; A man would enter a woman from behind, pump madly until climax and be on his way or immediately go to sleep. This was especially true for a man who had been a soldier all of his life.)

Jennifer laughed at this statement from Maurice and said, "My dear, dear Maurice, I am none of those things, If you will just lie here you will find that pleasure can be yours in ways you have not experienced." With this, Maurice relaxed slightly and said, "I am sorry Jennifer, such a thing has never been done to me and I am not sure that you will not bite it off."
Jennifer, with a laugh said, "I assure you Maurice that I will not bite off your penis, only give you pleasure."
Although still doubtful, Maurice lay back on the bed and tried to relax, his penis now totally flaccid. Jennifer thought, "Men...When will they ever learn."

10 · 08-18-2007, 05:24 PM

Someone truly has a knack for writing porn...........

JonPop · 08-18-2007, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

Someone truly has a knack for writing porn...........

Not trying to write porn, but I am going to make Studly earn this one.

10 · 08-18-2007, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Not trying to write porn, but I am going to make Studly earn this one.

OK, soft porn then.........either way you've got a knack for it.

JonPop · 08-18-2007, 06:24 PM

Jennifer, again placed her hand on Maurice's now flaccid penis and begin kneading, stroking and rubbing. She could tell that Maurice was still somewhat agitated as his penis would just not respond.
Jennifer stepped from the bed and told Maurice, "I have some very good wine, would you like a cup?" Maurice said, I don't suppose you have any Budweiser do you?" Jennifer laughed and said, "No, Budweiser hasn't been invented yet." Maurice said, "I guess I'll settle for the wine, then. "They sat at the table, both totally naked and sipped the wine. Jennifer's large breasts lying on the table top were a sight to make any man lustful. Jennifer said, "Please brave Maurice, tell me your side of the battle against the army of the Philistines."
Maurice said, "This is very good wine Jennifer, aged and mellow." Jennifer said, " I have been saving this wine for just you, in case we should ever meet." "But please, Maurice, tell me the story."
Maurice said, "There is nothing, really for me to tell, we were facing the entire Philistine army and I had used all my arrows and thrown the spears we carried in the chariot. It looked hopeless that we were going to be overrun and surly die. Samson told me to run back to where we ate the ass that morning and retrieve the asses jaw bone, but it was several parcies behind us and I knew I would never be able to return in time to be of any use to Samson.
Suddenly, I felt this great pain in my face and lost consciousness and when I regained my senses, the entire Philistine army lay dead in piles surrounding the chariot.
Samson had used MY jaw bone to slay the enemy."
With the recounting of this story and the adrenalin rush he was having, Maurice felt his penis swelling and throbbing. He stood up and said, "I am ready now, to let you pleasure me Jennifer."

JonPop · 08-18-2007, 07:16 PM

Jennifer said, "I'm out of the mood now, just go."

(Just messin with you Stud)...To be continued:

JonPop · 08-19-2007, 04:19 PM

Hey studly and Jennifer not getting any input from you guys, where the fuck you at? I have 2 more parts of the story finished.

Betterman · 08-19-2007, 08:15 PM

Does Studly's jaw have any special meaning?

JonPop · 08-19-2007, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

Does Studly's jaw have any special meaning?

You mean, other than he doesn't have one?
But, uh, yes. This is how the bible story about Samson slaying the Philistines with the jaw bone of an ass, got started.
(See Jennifer's post #15)

JonPop · 08-19-2007, 09:08 PM

Jennifer stood from the table, stretched on her tip toes and with a little shiver, that made her large breasts jiggle said, "Very well Maurice, but you must repress what you were taught about sex with a woman." "You must try and relax and allow me to give to you the gift I have promised." Maurice, feeling somewhat more relaxed from the wine, agreed and allowed Jennifer to take his hand and lead him back to her bed.
As he lay back on the bed, Jennifer again placed her hand on his semi erect penis, but this time with short slow, stroking motions.
She felt it grow and become rock hard. She looked at Maurice, lying back with his eyes closed, stroked his brow and once again placed her mouth on this hard staff.

Maurice gave an involuntary grunt but did not move. Jennifer begin a very slow stroking of the shaft with her lips, she could not reach the base as Maurice's penis was massive. As she stroked and sucked, she could feel Maurice starting to thrust upward. She took her hand and placed it on Maurice's abdomen and told him to remain still. Maurice had never felt anything like this, lying back, totally relaxed, this was a wonderful experience.

Jennifer, wanting this to last and not wanting Maurice to ejaculate too quickly, would stop all motion when she would sense that Maurice was getting close and squeeze the base as best she could, as she couldn't get her hand all the way around Maurice's massive shaft. Maurice raised up on his elbow and said, "Why are you doing that? I was about to cum." Jennifer said, "Yes, I know, but I want this first time to be the best you will ever have.

She resumed sucking and licking up and down Maurice's shaft.
Nibbling with her teeth, gently around the glans. Taking as much as she could down her throat. Finally, she knew that she couldn't hold Maurice back any longer and went at sucking and jelqing with her hand as fast and as hard as she could. Maurice came up off the bed with his ass and shot a massive load of cum into Jennifer's mouth. She tried to swallow, but the amount was overwhelming, ( like putting a garden hose into your mouth and trying to drink all the water.) she managed to swallow most of the first load but had to pull away as she almost choked. Maurice continued to shoot volumes of cum like a fountain, all over himself and Jennifer.

Maurice fell back, totally exhausted. Jennifer said, "That was amazing, don't you ever masturbate?" Maurice said, "What is masturbate?" Jennifer replied, "My dear Maurice, you have so much to learn."
Jennifer thought to herself, "I wish they would hurry up and invent showers."
As they were both covered with sticky cum, Jennifer led Maurice to the tub, but one look at the filthy, cold water, decided to build a new hot bath for the both of them.

To be continued:

happy stud · 08-20-2007, 11:37 AM

Hey JonPop ya'll must not have a #37 in California. Im liking the story real good. Glad to see you giving Jennifer some sense in the story. It be nice if it could be transferred to real life.

JonPop · 08-20-2007, 03:48 PM

Jennifer wrapped Maurice in two sack cloths and sent him to the courtyard to fetch a pot of water, while she stoked the fire.
When Maurice returned, She had him pour it into the now empty, scrubbed tub and had him return for more water to heat.
This time Maurice came back with blood coming from his nose and a cut on his forehead. Jennifer asked, "What happened?" Maurice said, "A man at the pump made fun of me, saying I was doing the work of a woman and that I dressed funny." "Where is that man, now?" Asked Jennifer. "He is lying dead in the street." Exclaimed Maurice. Jennifer said, "Oh Maurice, you are strong and brave, but you can't kill everyone who makes fun of you." Maurice said, "Why?" Jennifer, with an annoyed look, begin to heat the water.
While the water was heating, she found a clean cloth and begin to clean and tend to Maurice's wounds, all the while, still totally naked.
Maurice had removed the sack cloth's and as Jennifer was tending to his forehead, pulled her down onto his lap and his now very hard penis. Maurice said, "I am ready now, to give you pleasure m'lady.
Jennifer said, "As soon as we are bathed, as I am sticking to you and it is not pleasant."
Maurice laughed loudly at this and said, "Jennifer, you will be 'stuck' as never before, when we finally pleasure ourselves."

JonPop · 08-20-2007, 03:58 PM

Maurice allowed Jennifer to bathe first , although it was not his custom to cater to a woman, he was after all, in Jennifer's home.
Jennifer took her time bathing, washing carefully and doing her long hair. Maurice meanwhile was pacing around with a massive erection wanting nothing more than to jump in and out of the tub and then jump Jennifer. When Jennifer finally finished her bath and was drying off, Maurice quickly climbed in the now just barely warm water, soaped and rinsed quickly and said to Jennifer, "Now m'lady, I am going to give YOU pleasure as you've never had.
He took Jennifer's hand and led her to the bed and tried to bend her over and ram his big penis in from behind. Jennifer said, "No! Stop! You are not going to shove that big thing in me without some foreplay to get me wet." Maurice said, "But, I can't wait, Jennifer and what is foreplay?"
"This is MY house and this is MY pussy and if you want it, you'll do as I say." Said Jennifer. By this time, Maurice is so horny that he would have fought Lions to be able to fuck that sweet pussy.
He said, "Yes m'lady, tell me what you require of me." "Lie back on the bed beside me," Instructed Jennifer. "Do as you did before and play gently with my breasts and nipples."
I know that with no jaw, that you will not be able to pleasure me with your mouth, so you must pleasure me with your hands and your penis. I will teach you."

This day will become a learning experience in the art of foreplay for Maurice. Such things as he had never dreamed of doing to a woman and will change his whole life.

To be continued at a later date:

JonPop · 08-21-2007, 05:51 PM

With an apology to happy stud, Jennifer and all who are following this Ribald story, the writer has decided that the next chapter, of the love making between Maurice and Jennifer, is too detailed, descriptive and pornographic to submit to this thread.
So I will proceed to the following chapter and the end to this story.

You will just have to use your imaginations to fill in the gap.

JonPop · 08-21-2007, 05:57 PM

When they had finished with their incredible love making, Jennifer brought forth some of her late husband's clothing and said, "My husband was a bit taller than you, but you are certainly bigger in another place." With that, she gave Maurice a big hug, sighed and said "That was wonderful. And here, I was going to pleasure you and I am the one who is still giddy."
She said, "You need to try these on, as I must do any altering, so that you will be presentable to the king."
Her small hands flew at the task of sewing and soon the clothing fit as if made for Maurice.
Jennifer, dressed in her finest and they made to leave.

Maurice made a very handsome figure in his dashing outfit. Bathed and with trimmed beard and haircut, bore no resemblance to the pathetic figure that only hours ago had re-entered the city as a filthy, tattered beggar.
As they were leaving, Jennifer looked one more time at the disheveled bed and felt a stirring in her loins and wished that she could just tear the clothes from Maurice and re-enter that world of bliss and ecstasy that had been hers just a short while ago. But she must fulfill her vow to see that Maurice would receive his just rewards.

The walk to the palace was very pleasant and they received many polite greetings and admiration, as such a handsome couple.

As they entered the inner palace walls, they were challenged by the guards. Jennifer spoke quickly, "I am Jennifer, the late wife of
your former captain that was killed in the Philistine battle, fighting with Samson and Maurice. The soldier bowed low and said, "Yes my lady, I do remember you and my gallant Captain and whom might this handsome gentleman be?" Jennifer, with a very large smile said, "Why, this is Maurice." The soldier exclaimed, "I heard that Maurice was dead, how can I be sure it is indeed the famed Maurice?" Jennifer said, "Look beneath his beard, soldier." As the soldier reached to lift the beard, Maurice recoiled and pulled back. Jennifer said, "it's all right Maurice, let him see." And to the solder she said, "He is still sensitive about his disfigurement."
Maurice allowed the soldier to lift his beard and with a loud exclamation of... "He has no jaw bone.... Surly this must be Maurice." He yelled for the other guards to come and see the fabled and much storied, Maurice.

The King was delighted to see Maurice, and said, "I had many soldiers searching for you for months. We had heard rumors that you had become a beggar and several, that you had died. But look at you standing before me, looking very fit and well groomed, tell me Maurice, where have you been?"
Maurice said, "Your majesty, I did leave the city in shame and I did fall upon hard times but the Lady Jennifer, took me into her home and cleaned, fed and dressed me in her late husbands clothing that I might be presentable to your highness."
The King said, "I am delighted that you are here safe and sound, Maurice" And to Jennifer, said, "You are a fine woman Lady Jennifer and once again I express my sorrow at the loss of your husband."
To Maurice, he said, "I now wish to reward you for the sacrifice you have made for the kingdom. Henceforth, you shall be a Captain in the army of the King, retired, with all the back pay and benefits that would have been yours had you chosen not to leave.
I further reward you with the house and property of the late and traitorous Duke that had been responsible for the ambush that you, Samson and my many brave soldiers were caught in."
Maurice stammered and said, "Thank you my great King. May I ask for one more thing?" "Certainly," Said the King. Maurice continued, "I have fallen in love with the beautiful Jennifer and would like to ask for her hand in marriage, if she is willing."
He looked at Jennifer and she, with the memories of their wonderful love session still dancing in her mind, said, "Yes, yes I will marry you Maurice." And so the King proclaimed and Maurice and Jennifer lived happily ever after.

happy stud · 08-22-2007, 12:02 PM

That was a good story JonPop. I got a nice hard on thinking about fucking Jennifer. I wonder if she would like to do all that in real life.

want8 · 08-22-2007, 02:41 PM

I don't think you have a chance in hell converting this to real life. Let's see what Jennifer thinks. Where the hell is she anyway?

10 · 08-22-2007, 02:59 PM

OK, since when are YOU not into writing porn JP? You cut out the best damn part!!

JonPop · 08-22-2007, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

OK, since when are YOU not into writing porn JP? You cut out the best damn part!!

Sorry 10, but SOME things are best left to the imagination.

JonPop · 08-23-2007, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy stud

That was a good story JonPop. I got a nice hard on thinking about fucking Jennifer. I wonder if she would like to do all that in real life.

Got a question for ya studly. Would you give up your jaw bone to fuck Jennifer?

Jennifer...Where are you? Been weeks darlin' you ok?

happy stud · 08-24-2007, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Got a question for ya studly. Would you give up your jaw bone to fuck Jennifer?

Jennifer...Where are you? Been weeks darlin' you ok?

Only 1 time no. But like in your story hell yea. Wouldnt need to have it if I had her all the time. My dick would stay too hard to even notice it was missing.

jennifer · 08-26-2007, 12:56 AM

Haha. This was a good story, JP. What a great imagination you have! I mean, studly with a "rock hard thick penis"? You must have been doing the very rare and exotic drugs to give him that. It is good that you based it on fiction and not reality! Haha.

JonPop · 08-26-2007, 02:23 AM

Well hell, Jen, I had to do something to make Maurice feel good. After all I left out the chapter where he actualy get's to fuck Jennifer.

Betterman · 08-26-2007, 02:29 AM

Maybe between Jen and Yourself. You can divise a script for the forum.

JonPop · 08-26-2007, 02:39 AM

A script for the forum? Whatcha mean?

Betterman · 08-26-2007, 03:05 AM

You both put your heads together and make a script.

But you need to think BIG. Make a mini mini mini mini mini series of a story of ?

Betterman · 08-26-2007, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

You both put your heads together and make a script.

But you need to think BIG. Make a mini mini mini mini mini series of a story of ?

Too bad I can't capitilize on the idear.

happy stud · 08-26-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer

Haha. This was a good story, JP. What a great imagination you have! I mean, studly with a "rock hard thick penis"? You must have been doing the very rare and exotic drugs to give him that. It is good that you based it on fiction and not reality! Haha.

Youll think my dick is fiction if I ever got a hold of your little tight ass.

JonPop · 08-26-2007, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy stud

Youll think my dick is fiction if I ever got a hold of your little tight ass.

Wow! The mating call of the wild, horny stud.

happy stud · 08-27-2007, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Wow! The mating call of the wild, horny stud.

Id fuck her so long and hard she would tell me she would give me back my damn jawbone if I stopped.

JonPop · 09-13-2007, 04:54 PM

Sir Bret, made a handsome and imposing figure atop his jet black horse. His highly polished armor glistening in the sun, was enough to blind any enemy. As he approached the draw bridge, he was challenged by the guards on top of the wall. "Halt Sir Knight, who are you, and from whence do you come?"
I am Sir Bret," He answered, "I am a Moderator Knight of King Arthur's BetterMan Kingdom, I seek an audience with the King."
After what seemed many minutes, he could hear the creaking of the pulleys as the draw bridge was slowly lowered across the moat.

As he rode across the bridge and into the courtyard, he was surrounded by a gathering throng of people who were shouting in amazement at this wondrous figure in their midst.
There weren't many visitors to this city, as beggars, strangers and spammers were generally felled with arrows from the towers above and not many were admitted. The king of this Provence was known to be cruel. Swift in judgement and harsh in punishment.

As Sir Bret begin to dismount, there were many eager hands to help him down. A young lad said that he would tend to the Knights beautiful horse.
The palace guard formed themselves around Sir Bret and escorted him into the castle.

JonPop · 09-13-2007, 08:49 PM

The King's throne, by design, was several steps above the floor so that the King could look down upon his visitors. The King, a large man with full dark beard, dressed totally in black, was in sharp contrast to the beautiful women flanking him. On his right hand, was the Queen, dressed in fine flowing silks, while to his left was their daughter, the Princess. A young woman of such beauty as Sir Bret had never seen.

Sir Bret removed his helmet and bowed as low and as graciously as he could, being in a full suit of Armor.
The King with a gesture of his hand, acknowledged the bow.
The King said, "You have traveled far Sir Bret, what brings you to our distant Kingdom of ThundersPlace?"
"Your Majesty," begin Sir Bret, "I was sent ahead by his Majesty King Arthur, to beg your permission to pass through this provence to further his holy quest. The search for the nest of the BetterMan spammers."
Sir Bret continued, "My King and the brave Moderator Knights from the Kingdom of BetterMan, have launched a crusade against the heathen spammers tribe that strike without warning, causing havoc and devastation throughout the Kingdom of BetterMan."
Sir Bret paused, while awaiting the King's response.

The King stroked his beard, scowled, looked at his Queen and then at his daughter who was staring intently at this handsome knight. Finally he smiled and said, "I have heard of this spammer tribe of which you speak, we have killed many of those that try and enter the Kingdom of ThundersPlace. Yes, you may tell the good King Arthur that he and his knights may travel freely through our provence." "But, I insist that you spend two days of rest here with us before returning to your King, that I may offer you my hospitality and the company of our beautiful women."
Sir Bret, again, with a strained bow said, "Thank you your Majesty, I shall welcome the respite from the saddle and your generous offer, noticing that the Princess was almost squirming with glee.

10 · 09-13-2007, 10:43 PM

NICE! I'm lovin' it!!! Looking forward to the rest.......