Ribald Bible stories. - Page 4

JonPop · 09-17-2007, 10:18 PM

It had been a very hard. hot 3 days and nights march to the Kingdom of ThundersPlace, everyone in full battle gear, on full alert, the King surrounded by his loyal Moderator Knights with highly polished shields to deflect any line of sight attempt toward their King, during the daylight hours.
The King had instructed Sir Bret and Sir Stud to ride ahead when they were just hours away from the outer limits of the Kingdom, to bring the message to King Thunder that He and his army, would soon be arriving. He told Sir Bret that they would encamp just on the fringes of the Kingdom and await the answer from King Thunder that it would be permissible to enter with his large army and that his intentions were honorable and peaceful, as King Thunder was known to attack first, anyone that was not a member of the ThundersPlace site.
After a long, hard, 6 hour ride, Sir Stud and Sir Bret finally reached the walls and gate of the Palace of King Thunder. When Sir Bret saw the draw bridge, his heart did a little skip as he thought about the beautiful Princess Jennifer behind those walls.
Again, they were challenged by the guards and the two Knights identified themselves. The drawbridge was quickly lowered and they rode into the courtyard where the were greeted as if they were returning heroes. Even before they could dismount, Sir Bret heard a loud feminine cry and Princess Jennifer was upon him, pulling at his leg and trying to pull him from his horse. She let go quickly and said, "Ouch, your armor is burning hot Sir Bret." Sir Bret said, "Tell me about it, I'm cooking in here."
Princess Jennifer said, eyeing Sir Stud, "And who is this brave and handsome knight that accompany's you, Sir Bret?" She said with undisguised interest in her voice. "This, beautiful Lady Jennifer," said Sir Bret, "Is one of my Moderator brother Knights from BetterMan and he is called, Sir Happy Stud, for obvious reasons, that you will soon discover about him." And gave a hearty laugh. Sir Stud looked at the Princess Jennifer and thought, "Yea, what Sir Bret told me about her is true and those big tits were just made to fit my hands." And smiled to himself.
The palace guard formed around the two Knights and escorted them to the throne of King Thunder. This time the King hurriedly
descended the steps to greet Sir Bret and put his arm around his shoulder, which he hastily removed because the armor was hot and said, "I am very delighted to see you so soon Sir Bret, I am assuming that you, King Arthur and his brave Knights have completed your quest to destroy the spammers?" and added, "Who is this handsome Knight that accompany's you?"
Sir Bret, trying to dislodge his hand from Princess Jennifer, who was pulling on him said, "Your Highness, This is Sir Stud, we have come from King Arthur who is camped on the outer edge of your Kingdom awaiting an answer to the message that I bring you." Again shaking Princess Jennifer's tugging grip from his hand. The King summoned two of his best squires to help the Knights remove their hot and stifling armor. When they were seated and a drink of the Kings finest wine was in front of them, Sir Bret recounted all that had transpired since he had left the Kingdom of ThundersPlace. He relayed the message from King Arthur and tried to ignore the groping hand of the Princess. Sir Stud was enjoying the Princess rubbing and squeezing his cock through his tights as she was sitting between the two Knights.
King Thunder pondered all that had been told and said, "Sir Stud, I know it has been a long and hot ride from the encampment of your King, but I wish you to return immediately with my reply." Sir Stud stood and bowed, and thought to himself, "Dang, I was hoping to get a little of Princess Jennifer's pussy before I had to leave, oh well." He said, "I will do as your Majesty instructs." He sat back down and pushed the Princesses hand away and tried to let his erection subside. The King said, "Tell your King Arthur that he is welcome to bring his army outside the walls of my palace and that he and his Knights shall be welcomed into my Kingdom." He added, "Tell your King, that with the new weapon that the spammers possess that we shall join forces and myself, my Moderator Knights and army shall join his quest in the spammer war." Sir Stud, hurriedly finished his goblet of wine and put on his now cooled armor. He gave Sir Bret a knowing wink and left to deliver the words of King Thunder. The King instructed his staff to prepare for many guests and to find food to feed King Arthur's army, that would soon be arriving.

Überschwanz · 09-17-2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Sir Stud, hurriedly finished his goblet of wine and put on his now cooled armor.

Or goblet of Bud?

JonPop · 09-17-2007, 10:29 PM

Hee, Hee. Good one Uber. But, seeing as how Budweiser hadn't been invented yet...

JonPop · 09-17-2007, 10:45 PM

Uber, go back and reread post #105, I had forgotten to insert a part that makes post 106 continue correctly.

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 12:34 AM

As Sir Stud was leaving to ride to the camp of King Arthur, King Thunder turned to Sir Bret and said, "I am glad to see you back here Sir Knight, my daughter would not shut up about you all the time you were gone. She even wanted me to mount an expedition with wagons, soldiers, her hand maidens and several knights to protect her and go to the encampment of King Arthur to find you. Naturally I forbade her from doing so." Sir Bret said, "I can see and um, feel that she is glad to see me."
By this time, the Queen had joined them and gestured for a goblet of wine. The Queen said, "Sir Bret, I heard that you had arrived, I am looking forward to your stay." And smiled brightly. "Sir Bret said, "Thank you Queen Thunder and I am happy to see you also."

Princess Jennifer said, "Ewww, Sir Bret, you need a bath and your garments washed, you smell like a spammer," and laughed. "I shall show you to your room and instruct my hand maidens to prepare a bath and your bed." King Thunder laughed and said, "My darling daughter Jennifer, I am surprised that
it has taken you this long to again seduce Sir Bret. I shall leave you two as I have much preparation to attend to before the arrival of King Arthur."

Jennifer hurried Sir Bret along, as without the armor he could move faster this time. As soon as they were in Sir Bret's room, she yelled for her hand maidens to prepare a bath and come get the Knights soiled garments to wash.
She pushed Sir Bret over backwards on the bed and begin stripping off his tights. When she saw his penis, she sighed in relief and said, "Oh, I am so thankful that it wasn't a dream."

Sir Bret couldn't help himself, he felt his cock becoming rock hard. He stood and removed his sweat soaked tunic. A young hand maiden came to retrieve the Knights garments and stopped dead at the sight of Sir Bret's massive penis. Princess Jennifer looked at her with a look that only a another woman would understand that said, 'He is mine bitch, eat your heart out.' But she said sweetly, "Please see that these are washed and returned as soon as possible, for we will have many guests tonight and I will need all of my hand maidens to attend to the many handsome Knights that will be staying with us."

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 04:41 PM

Sir bret said accusingly, "That was a very foolish thing you were attempting to do Princess, As soon as we had arrived back at King Arthur's camp and I had relayed the message from your Father, we were on the move. You would not have found us and would have been in grave danger from the spammer snipers.
One, even attempted to delete our King but was killed by Sir Marty."
Princess Jennifer said, "Oh, Sir Bret, I couldn't stop crying from the moment you and your Knights rode off, I begged my Father to let me go to you, but he refused. But now, you are here with me and I must have you between my legs, once again."
Sir Bret lay back on the bed, his massive erection pointing straight up. The Princess moved on top of him and very slowly, inserted his penis with little cries of "oh, ewe, ouch," as she settled on this massive tool. When she had fully engulfed Sir Bret's member, she begin a slow up and down rhythm increasing the speed until she was pumping with a mad frenzy.
She was slamming so hard that it was actually hurting Sir Bret's pelvic bone as neither one of them had an ounce of fat for padding. Princess Jennifer let out a long cry of OooooHhhhh Ummm and had a huge orgasm. Sir Bret, as it had been days, soon followed with a resounding climax of his own.

The hot, oil scented bath was very welcome as he was glad to remove the stench, of days in the hot armor and once again hold the Princesses in tender loving embrace and totally relax.
Princess Jennifer's hand maidens hovered around after he had stepped out, to dry him and attend to the sore and chafed spots with salve and balm where his armor had rubbed him raw.

Once again, dressed in clean tights and tunic and feeling very tired, Sir Bret lay on the bed besides the Princess and both fell into a deep sleep.

He awoke to much commotion and realized that it was dark. The hand maidens had quietly lit candles to illuminate the room and Sir Bret stood up shakily from the bed and tried to get his mind to work. He didn't know for how long the Sun had been down, but figured he must have slept for several hours.

The Princesses rolled over and looked at him and smiled.
Sir Bret opened the door and could hear clanking and banging and the loud voices of many men. He left the room and descended the staircase, to find the great hall filled with many Knights still in their full armor. He recognized Sir Sikdogg and Sir Uberschwanz standing behind King Arthur sitting at the long table beside King Thunder. They appeared to be in deep discussion.
He saw Sir Stud turn and look up at him as he was coming down the stairs, he could tell by Sir Stud's expression that something was amiss. Sir Stud met him at the bottom of the stairs and said, "Sir Bret, we had another pitched battle with the spammers on the way to the palace. Those assholes struck at last light, when we were relaxing our guard, we fought hard and gallantly. Sir Incubus was killing spammers right and left when he was deleted. Sir Mighty Mouse and Our best Doctor Sir Bulge were also killed. As night fell, we were able to make our way here."
Sir Bret was horrified at the news, and hurried to join the discussion at the table. He soon learned that the Kingdom of Matters of Size had been overrun and conquered by the spammers and that King Doublelongdaddy had been deleted.
The remnants of the MOS army and their surviving Moderator Knights had made there way here to join forces with ThundersPlace and BetterMan.

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 05:04 PM

Want more? Or is anyone even interested?
This is a lot of time devoted to this story to not recieve any comments or discussion.
Where the hell ARE you Princess Jennifer?

Überschwanz · 09-18-2007, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Want more? Or is anyone even interested?
This is a lot of time devoted to this story to not recieve any comments or discussion.
Where the hell ARE you Princess Jennifer?

We're just enthralled JP. Keep writing!

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Überschwanz

We're just enthralled JP. Keep writing!

Thanks Sir Überschwanz, good to know that at least one Moderator Knight is appreciating the effort. I'm not looking for accolaids or attaboy's, just want to hear from members that are actually reading this stuff. I sometimes feel like when I hit 'submit post' and the chapter goes off into cyberspace, that "Why?"
I am enjoying writing this story, but I also like feedback and suggestions. Thanks again for responding.
Sir JonPop, trusted advisor to King Arthur.

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 07:01 PM

There was much buzzing and loud conversations between the Moderator Knights of the different Kingdoms. King Thunder stood and pounded on the table with the butt of his broad sword and yelled for quiet. Almost immediately, there fell a hush as everyone turned to face the King. Sir Bret saw, amongst the crowd, Sir Marty, Sir Sonic Celt, Sir Loki and Sir Want8. He was very relieved to see his brothers were here, safe. He heard loud demands as the throng of Knights were being pushed aside and Sir JonPop and Sir Kdub, were pushing their way toward the table. King Thunder stopped in what he was going to say and waited as King Arthur stood and came around the table to greet the new arrivals. He said, "Sir JonPop and Sir Kdub, I had left you behind to tend to the BetterMan Kingdom, why are you here?" Sir JonPop looking very tired and bedraggled, said,"Your Highness, we have ridden like the wind for many days to bring you the news that our Wizard, Sir Merlin has devised a weapon to counter the Ctrl Alt Delete function of the spammers."
King Arthur said, "This is wonderful news Sir JonPop. Please tell us what it is, that we might plan our course of action." Sir JonPop removed his helmet and collapsed in a seat at the table, and begin recounting the news. A goblet of wine was hurriedly set before him and he drank it down in one gulp.
Sir JonPop continued, "Myself and Sir Kdub were astounded to see such a large garrison of soldiers outside the walls of the ThundersPlace, palace. At first we thought that the castle was under siege. But we were soon informed that this was the combined armies of King Thunder, our own BetterMan soldiers and the remnants of the Kingdom of MOS. We had encountered several spammer snipers but were able to deflect with our shields, their deadly delete function by riding swiftly and without stop. Please forgive me Highness, but I must catch my breath, before I can continue."
King Arthur, said, "Certainly, Sir JonPop, although we are all waiting to hear the news from Sir Merlin." There was complete silence in the great hall as all ears were awaiting Sir JonPop to finish. Sir JonPop after many minutes of heavy breathing, resumed what he was about to say.
Sir Kdub, in total exhaustion, had collapsed to the floor and was being attended to by Sir Marty and Sir Want8. Who had removed his helmet and were in the process of unbuckling his armor.
Sir JonPop spoke in a voice loud enough for all in the great hall, to hear. He said........

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 09:42 PM

"Brother Knight Moderators, most of you that I have never had the pleasure to meet before. It is with great sorrow that I stand before you and Your Highness King Thunder and my King Arthur, in these times of war. We have all suffered mightily at the hands of the spammers, but I bring news from the Wizard, Sir Marlin of a new way to counter the spammers weapon." At this, there came a great roar from the assembled Knights with much pounding of gauntlets upon breast plates and thumping of Broadswords on the floor. Sir JonPop waited for the noise to die down before continuing. "It is a very simple way that our great Wizard of Betterman,Sir Marlin has devised. As you all now know, the spammer weapon is a line of sight reliant weapon that is only effective during daylight hours and Sir Merlin has made, using his great Magical powers, very thin sheets of a reflective material that can be applied to all of the Moderator Knights, soldiers and their horses. In the saddle bags of my and Sir Kdub's horses, are enough rolls of this light material to equip a small platoon of Knights to thwart the efforts of the spammers. Many wagon loads of this same material are within a two day ride behind our arrival. My suggestion, with the permission of our two great Kings, would be to pick the freshest and most fearless knights to be wrapped in this material and to take the battle to the spammers." Again, there was a great roar and banging. Sir JonPop, turned and looked at the two Kings. King Thunder stood and said, in a very loud and forceful voice, "Will all the captains of the Moderator Knights please remain and all others please clear the hall and go to the courtyard where you will find a fine meal and wine awaiting you."
Sir Bret and Sir Uberschwanz remained as did a large group of Moderator Knight captains from ThundersPlace as well as two or three surviving captains from MOS.
Sir Supra, a Moderator Knight from the Matters of Size Kingdom, raised his hand and spoke loudly. "If this is true Sir JonPop, that a reflecting material will render the spammer device ineffective, pray tell, why our armor that shines so, in the Sun, wouldn't stop the spammer Ctrl Alt Delete, Device?" "Very simple, Sir Supra," replied Sir JonPop, "All of the armor in use today has chinks and spots devoid of covering, the spammers use this small window to zoom in, penetrate and delete." Wrapping in this light weight material will prevent them from any opportunity to use this weakness to delete us." A great cry of "OoRah" came from the assembled captains. "Sir JonPop continued, "This weakness is as simple as a Knight raising his arm to swing his Broadsword, thereby exposing the unprotected area at his arm pit, or the simple act of raising his visor. We shall have to devise a new tactic to defeat the spammers." Many shouts, to be heard were forthcoming and arms being waved in the air. Sir JonPop pointed to Sir Uberschwanz and said, "Sir Knight, you have concerns?" Sir Uberschwanz said, "Yes, Sir JonPop, how will this material be affixed, will it fall off in the heat of the battle?" Sir JonPop replied, "No, Sir Merlin thought of this and ran many tests using myself and Sir Kdub in full armor. He has devised a 'sticky' side to the material that will adhere to the armor and even bare flesh, so it will not come loose." Many arms dropped and there were no more questions. King Thunder and King Arthur stood and King Arthur said, "Myself and King Thunder shall discuss all we have heard here tonight, and devise a plan. Now, all of you remaining Knights, go to the courtyard and partake of the food and drink that has been prepared for you." The Knights all bowed in unison as best they could in their armor and headed for the food

JonPop · 09-18-2007, 10:40 PM

Sir JonPop remained behind as he was too tired to try and eat right now, as did Sir Kdub who had been stripped of his armor and lay sleeping deeply, across several chairs. King Thunder, said, "Thank you Sir JonPop for your gallant efforts to bring the news to my Kingdom. I will instruct the servants to prepare a bath for yourself and Sir Kdub, and a soft bed for each of you to sleep.
With that, he motioned to one of the several servants to arouse Sir Kdub and take them to a hot bath. Sir JonPop and a groggy Sir Kdub, followed along behind the servant, Sir JonPop felt as if he were in a dream and sleepwalking, he was so exhausted.

The hot bath was very welcome as the Two knights were saddle sore and chafed in spots they didn't even want to think about. Sir Kdub, reclined against the wall of the tub and said, "Sir JonPop, do you think this will work, this new way to stop the spammers?" "I don't know, Sir Kdub," replied Sir JonPop, "But I do know, that I trust Sir Merlin with my life and that this is the best chance we have."
The two knights were awakened from a deep sleep and made to leave the tub and were dried off and their sore spots tended to by loving hands of beautiful hand maidens with the healing salves and ointments. Sir JonPop stated that now, he was very hungry and Sir Kdub indicated that he was starving.
Platters of hot juicy, meats and several kinds of vegetables were brought before them and they sat on the floor, naked, with their backs propped against the tub and heartily consumed all that was offered. Between mouthfuls, they talked of the hard ride and about the spammer snipers that they had encountered along the way. They both wondered aloud, about the wagons that were following and decided that at first light, they would wear the new protection and set out to find the convoy. But now...They needed sleep. The hand maidens led them to separate rooms and to soft beds. As they passed one room they heard a voice that sounded like Sir Bret, being ravished by a woman but were too tired to investigate. Sir JonPop fell upon the bed and was out like a Knight light. (Hee.)

italiananglo69 · 09-19-2007, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Want more? Or is anyone even interested?
This is a lot of time devoted to this story to not recieve any comments or discussion.
Where the hell ARE you Princess Jennifer?

keep going Master Thespian Pop

JonPop · 09-19-2007, 03:33 PM

Thanks IA69. Comments appreciated.

JonPop · 09-19-2007, 03:34 PM

Sir JonPop came awake, stretched, opened his eyes and realized it was late morning. He stood and tried to get his bearings as he was still groggy and the surroundings were unfamiliar to him.
He realized that he and Sir Kdub were supposed to have ridden out this morning to try and locate the BetterMan wagon convoy. His garments were cleaned and folded neatly on the chair, he hurriedly dressed in the tights and tunic worn by all the BetterMan Knights and went to find Sir Kdub. He stepped into the hall and heard much talking and laughing in the great hall below. He looked in a couple of rooms and they were vacant but found Sir Kdub in the third and went in to rouse him. He touched Sir Kdub on the shoulder and he came up off the bed swinging. Sir JonPop ducked and backed away as Sir Kdub came awake and said, "Aye Mon, I'm fookin awake," rubbed his eyes and said, "Where are we?" Sir JonPop sat on the edge of the bed and said, "You need to get dressed, it seems everyone is awake and it is mid morning."
They descended the stair case and saw that indeed the long table was full of seated Knights eating breakfast. Sir Bret stood to greet them and said, "I hope you slept well you two, we've been up for hours. Sir Sickdogg went on a scouting mission at sunrise this morning wearing the new deflector metal and managed to capture a spammer sniper setting up to catch any unwary Moderator Knight, or patrol. The spammer tried to use his delete weapon but the thin reflective metal worked well and the spammer was brought back alive, although a little worse for wear, to face the Kings and be interrogated. All he would give us was his name which is Ïóòèøåñòâèÿ. He had on his person a small hand held device that escaped our search and managed to delete himself before any potions could be used. This appears to be another weapon in the spammer arsenal." Sir JonPop said, "And, he told you nothing but his name?" Sir Bret replied, "Nope, that was all we got. We couldn't even save the device, because like their laptops, once activity stops, unless the user password is inserted, it just simply melts down in a matter of minutes. We wanted to send this to Sir Merlin."

They sat down at the table and had a hearty breakfast of meats and some fruits that neither had ever seen before.
King Thunder stood at the head of the table and banged with the butt of his dagger to command attention. All talk subsided, the king spoke and said, "King Arthur and I have dispatched several Moderator Knights from Thunder's and two from BetterMan to search for the wagon convoy containing the magical metal, that we may equip all of our Knights and soldiers to make ready for the journey to find the new nest of the spammers." Sir Kdub turned to Sir Loki sitting to his right and asked, "Who were the BetterMan Knights that were sent?" Sir Loki swallowed the bite he had in his mouth and said, "Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Sonic Celt and yes, they were all wearing the new protection. They said, before they left that the metal was so light and flexible, that they didn't even know they had it on."

JonPop · 09-19-2007, 06:32 PM

As there was nothing to do but wait, the King dismissed all of the knights to check on the care of their horses, clean and tend to their equipment and to partake of the pleasures that the many fawning women had to offer, or just to sleep. The upstairs rooms soon filled with Knights and lustful women in the reckless abandonment of sexual pleasure. The baths were soon filled with many Knights anxious to rid themselves of the sweat and grime that had been accumulating for many weeks. Some of the older knights remained at the table getting very drunk on the Kings's wine. The King soon put a stop to this, saying, "You will need your wit's about you Sir Knights, as we will soon be engaged in a fierce battle with the spammers and I need all of my Knights sober" There was some grumbling and muttering but the Knights complied with the Kings orders. As per the guard Captains orders, the towers and walls were fully manned and on high alert during this respite for the Knights.

JonPop · 09-19-2007, 06:42 PM

The Moderator Knight expedition to meet up with the wagon convoy, had only traveled about 2 miles. They had 3 Moderator Knights out on the left flank, 3 on the right flank riding the sides of the hills overlooking the road. 3 more Knights, including Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Sonic Celt were riding the center of the road.
They saw one of the Moderator Knights on the side of the hill, quickly dismount and raise his Broadsword. Sir Sonic Celt said, "Wait here, eh? and I will go see what is happening," and took off in a gallop up the hill to where the ThundersPlace Moderator was holding someone down. When he arrived, he dismounted and saw that the Knight had a spammer pinned down with his Broadsword at his throat. He was yelling at the spammer, "What is your name and where are the rest of your snipers and where is your new nest located?" The spammer said, "My name is illultfaulk and that is all I will tell you," and proceeded to delete himself. The Moderator Knight, in frustration bashed the earth many times with his Broadsword, where the spammer had been and yelled, "You fucking spammers are all crazy." They watched in fascination as the spammer's laptop quickly melted into a puddle of hot goo. Sir Sonic congratulated the Knight on catching the sniper and returned down the hill to tell the others what had happened.

Sir Uberschwanz pulled in the flankers and as a group he decided to ride at full gallop up the road, ignoring any spammer snipers that they might see, as with the new protection, the spammers could do them no harm, to reach the convoy as quickly as possible as they felt that it might be in grave danger.

It was a very hard, all day ride and they had to stop several times to rest and walk their horses and to give them water. Several times when they had slowed, they saw spammer snipers on the hillsides pointing their laptops at them but they did not stop to dispatch them. When they finally reached the convoy, there were signs of a fierce battle, many soldiers from BetterMan lay dead as they hadn't properly applied their protective, reflective metal, or had removed portions of it because of the heat. A wagon had been overturned and it's contents had spilled out on the road. The Captain of the soldiers came from under the overturned wagon with extremly red eyes and was shaking violently. He greeted Sir Uberschwanz saying, "It is good to see you, Sir Knight, we were very close to being overrun by the spammers, but for some reason, they just suddenly went away. They must have seen you coming."
Sir Uberschwanz said, "It is good to see you also, Captain, please have your remaining soldiers upright and reload the wagon so that you may resume your journey to the ThundersPlace Castle. Also, Sir Captain, I am holding you responsible for the death of your soldiers. You should never have let them remove portions of their protection and this shall be reported to King Arthur when we reach the Kingdom of ThundersPlace and why were you hiding under the wagon?" The Captain totaly chargrinned, said, "As you wish Sir Uberschwanz, but gave no further explination. He gave the orders.

10 · 09-20-2007, 03:42 AM

This is simply awesome JP!! Simply awesome. Very, VERY nice job.

JonPop · 09-20-2007, 04:25 PM

Thank you Sir Bret. The story continues:

JonPop · 09-20-2007, 04:28 PM

The convoy of wagons had no trouble on the remainder of the journey to King ThundersPlace. The Moderator Knights had supervised the reapplying of the metal so that the soldiers were protected. The Moderator Knights deleted many spammer snipers on the sides of the hills as the convoy was passing and as they were moving slowly, the Knights were able to range far afield. The spammers were no match for a lance or Broadsword. Soon, the castle was in sight and several of the BetterMan Moderator Knights had ridden out to meet them, deleting 2 spammers along the way. Sir Loki, raised his gauntleted hand in greeting and rode to talk to Sir Uberschwanz. Sir Uberschwanz said, "I have arrested the Captain of the solders and the leader of this convoy for gross negligence of duty, he is in the first wagon and his horse is tied behind." Sir Loki said, "I shall ride ahead to inform King Arthur and alert the palace guard."
When the wagons crossed the draw bridge and entered the courtyard, the palace guard was waiting to take the now, very fearful Captain into custody. All of the Moderator Knights gathered in the Great Hall to listen to the proceedings.
King Thunder was atop his throne with King Arthur to his right and the Queen and the Princess to his left, with Sir JonPop to her left. Sir JonPop was there because he was second in command to the King and the General of the Moderator Knights. When the hapless Captain was brought before them. King Thunder looked at King Arthur and said, "Your Highness, this is your soldier and I shall leave his judgement to you." King Arthur stood and said, "I know of you Captain Kal, you have been with BetterMan for many years, while the charges against you are serious enough to warrant death in the time of war, I shall give you the opportunity to defend yourself. You have been charged with gross negligence of duty, in the death of many of the soldiers in your command, how do you plead?" The Captain slowly sank to one knee and looking up, said, "My King , I have been a loyal member of BetterMan and have served you well, the mission to bring the wagons containing the magic metal to you here at King ThundersPlace was of upmost importance. I realize that of the 50 soldiers that were escorting the convoy and that in a fierce battle with the spammers, we did indeed, lose 18 killed. I do not, in my humble plea, feel that I was in any way, negligent in my duties as the officer in charge. These men were instructed over and over to keep all coverings securely in place and as we had traveled days and nights, without seeing any sign of the spammers and as the weather was extremely hot, the men, without my knowledge, would pull off pieces of the metal to cool themselves. I realize your Highness, that the ultimate responsibility remains with me as the Officer in charge, but I had two Sergeants that were riding with the soldiers that said nothing to me about this. That it was their bad fortune to be caught at this particular time with parts of their protection removed, when the spammers stuck in a great wave, was beyond my ability to control.
I beg of you my mighty King Arthur to see that we fought gallantly and many, many spammers were deleted and the wagons remained safe." With this, Captain Kal stood with trembling legs to his full height and looked with as much bravado as he could muster, directly into the eyes of the King.

JonPop · 09-20-2007, 09:13 PM

King Arthur, resumed his seat beside King Thunder and said, "Captain Kal, I shall ponder these charges against you and the defense you have presented here today. But until the time that I render judgement, you will remain in custody. The palace guards moved forward and took the arms of their prisoner, with the Captain protesting loudly as he was being led away. The King's attention turned to Sir Uberschwanz and he said, "Sir Uberschwanz, you were the first to arrive at the site of the battle between the spammers and the soldiers guarding the wagons, were you not?" Sir Ubeschwanz strode forward helmet under is arm and said, "Yes your Highness, we arrived shortly after the spammers had retreated. I observed the Captain hiding fearfully, under the overturned wagon and many dead soldiers on the ground."
The King said, "And how, Sir Knight do you state that the Captain was hiding in fear?" Sir Uberschwanz answered, "Because he had thrown down his weapons and appeared to have been crying. He was also shaking mightily." The King said, "Could not this have been from the relief of seeing the arriving Knights and the results of having lost so many soldiers?" Sir Uberschwanz answered, "No, your HIghness, I have known Captain Kal for many years and this was, in my eyes, an act of cowardice." The King said, "Thank you Sir Uberschwanz, for your testimony. Now, everyone please clear the room and resume your duties."

There was a great deal of conversations going on as the Knights left the great room.

The wagon loads of the magical metal had been turned over to the Quartermaster of Thunders army to be cut into patterns by the seamstress' and tailors of the Kingdom so they could be applied more easily to the Knights and soldiers when it was time to do battle. Sir Uberschwanz felt bad that he had to testify against a man he had known for so long and had fought beside, He hoped that the King's judgment would be lenient.

JonPop · 09-20-2007, 10:16 PM

The Judgment of Captain Kal was never revealed, if anyone other than the Kings, knew, they were not talking. Sir Uberschwanz and the BetterMan Knights wondered aloud amongst themselves for a while, but no one was about to approach King Arthur. They surmised that if the Captain had been executed, that they would have heard, or if a stiff punishment had been rendered, that he probably would have been held up as an example. Sir JonPop was asked repeatedly about this and he would just shrug his shoulders and say, "Don't know dude." The Captain was never seen again.

This discussion and the fate of Captain Kal were soon forgotten in all the preparations that go into equipping and making an army ready to go to war.

NEXT: The Spammer Battles.

JonPop · 09-20-2007, 11:11 PM

As it had been days since the arrival of the wagons. The Moderator Knights when they weren't out on scouting missions to locate the new spammer nest, relaxed or slept. Their equipment had been cleaned and polished by their squires and their horses fed and groomed. Many, such as Sir Bret, were partaking in the sexual pleasures that were so freely offered.
Sir JonPop was in his room, sitting at the small table reviewing the battle plan he had drawn up, to submit to the Kings if and when, the new spammers nest was found. The Queen entered and said, "Sir JonPop, might I ask you a question?" Sir JonPop stood, bowed deeply at the waist and said, "Certainly Queen Thunder, however I may be of service." The Queen said, "I am told by the hand maidens that attended you at your bath, that you are endowed far larger than the average man, is this true?" Sir JonPop was slightly taken aback at this unexpected question and answered, "I have been told this before, yes." The Queen said, I will reveal to you a secret that you must swear to reveal to no one, will you agree?" Sir JonPop said, "I will guard anything you tell me in private, with my life, my Queen." The Queen sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "My husband, King Thunder is possessed with a very tiny penis, I have been longing for years, filled with sexual desires, that he has not been able to satisfy, I wish for you to fulfill my fantasies and make passionate love to me." Sir JonPop was almost at a loss for words at this but managed to say, "My Queen, you are of great beauty and you have the shapely body of a very young woman, that you would come to me to fulfill your desires, I am flattered beyond words. The Queen walked to the door and told her personal guard that she was not to be disturbed and he was to forget anything that happened in this room. She shut the door and came to Sir JonPop and with a very warm kiss and an embrace, started to remove her clothing. The love making between the Queen and Sir JonPop was earth shattering to say the least. It was well into the evening that the Queen, finally said, "Sir JonPop, as much as I would like to continue and finally being able to have an orgasm, nay, MANY orgasm's, I am just too sore from your massive penis. I must go to my bath and clean myself before I return to the presence of the King." She gave Sir JonPop a very deep throated kiss, smiled and said, "I hope that there can be a next time my brave Knight," hurriedly dressed and left the room. Sir JonPop continued to lie on the bed thinking about this incredible sexual romp he had just had with Queen Thunder. With a shake of his head, he stood, got dressed and returned to the plans for battle.

happy stud · 09-21-2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

The Judgment of Captain Kal was never revealed, .

His ass was given the assignment to guard the church and if he fucked up that assignment up he was hung by his skinny Thunders-made dick.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 01:36 AM

Oh, Sir Stud, you ain't never going to let po' ol' Kal rest in peace are ya? What do you think of the story so far?

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 01:48 AM

There was much shouting as Sir Kdub and Sir Stud came riding at full gallop across the draw bridge yelling, "We have found the nest of the spammers, we have found them." Many hands were there to help them dismount and as they removed their helmets and handed there lances and shields to their squires, were heard to say, "We must speak to the Kings and where is Sir JonPop's ass we gotta talk to him too." They were escorted into the great hall and Sir JonPop was summoned. They stood before the Kings and Sir Kdub said, "Your Highnesses King Arthur and King Thunder and Sir JonPop, as you know I am Scottish and speak with a brogue but my brother Knight Sir Stud, says things in such a way as to make me laugh. We were scouting to the South about 10 miles from the Castle, when Sir Stud, in his ceaseless chatter said something that actually made sense. He said," "Ya know, Sir Dub, If I was a fuckin spammer, I think I'd hide my ass down in the swamps, deep, where ain't nobody would be lookin for my stinkin butt." We continued to the edge of the great swamp, and dismounted, leading our mounts, using great stealth. The closer we got and the deeper into the swamp we went, the more we could smell the unmistakable order of the spammers. We tied our horses and proceed softly until we came upon a great encampment that was brightly lit and buzzing with activity. We observed many e-mails being sent and reams of spam paper littered the ground. There were many worm holes where Trojan worms were being readied and the stench of virus' being prepared."
King Arthur said, "Sir Kdub and Sir Stud, this is the news we have been waiting for, Please recount all you know of the location, to Sir JonPop and keep yourselves ready for further questioning." Both of the Knights bowed as best they could and went to remove their armor and find food and drink.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 06:04 AM

A new battle plan was quickly developed based on the information Provided by Sir Kdub and Sir Stud. The swamp was very large and treacherous and it would be hard to block all of the escape routes. The plan was relatively simple, the combined armies of BetterMan and the much larger army of Thunders, would form a semi circle entering into the swamp on foot at the point that Sir Kdub said they had come upon the spammer nest. The outer edges of the circle would enter first to squeeze, with the middle entering last, at the point closest to the spammer nest The Moderator Knights would close the circle on the outside of the swamp and cut off and kill the spammers as they emerged. The BetterMan Knights would be held in reserve to quickly go where needed. They would all wear the new metal protection and would start the assault at first light.

As it was now past midnight, the Kings summoned the Moderator Captains and the Officers of the soldiers to go over the plan and to receive their assignments. There would be no sleeping tonight. The preparation and gathering of all the needed supplies and gear to sustain an army on the move they figured, would take at least 2 hours. The distance was not great as Sir Stud had said that they were only about 10 miles South when they found the edge of the swamp. The Captains of the soldiers figured that they would need about 3 hours for the march on foot and as first light came around 5:30, they should leave as soon as possible from now. The Captains of the soldiers were dismissed to give the assignments to their NCO's and to make ready their own gear.
The BetterMan Captains, Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Bret, were not happy about being assigned the reserve role, but went to meet with the rest of the Moderator Knights as did the Captains of the ThundersPlace Moderators and the few remaining Moderators from MOS. Sir Kdub and Sir Stud had estimated the strength of numbers of the spammers to be in the two to three thousand range.
The two Kings and Sir JonPop would ride at the head of the column and direct the battle from 3 points outside the swamp with Sir JonPop commanding the BetterMan reserves. The Kings went to dress in their armor and be fitted with the new metal.

Let the battle begin.

happy stud · 09-21-2007, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Oh, Sir Stud, you ain't never going to let po' ol' Kal rest in peace are ya? What do you think of the story so far?

Yea I like it. Anytime theres pussy and drinking involved its got to be good. But Bret aint gonna be able to handle Jennifer all by hisself. She would wear his ass out after about 10 minutes. You need to give him some back up.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy stud

Yea I like it. Anytime theres pussy and drinking involved its got to be good. But Bret aint gonna be able to handle Jennifer all by hisself. She would wear his ass out after about 10 minutes. You need to give him some back up.

Sir Stud, you have got to be the horniest man alive. Only you, would go through an adventure story and pick out the sex parts.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 05:35 PM

After much furious activity, the draw bridge was lowered and all of the mounted Moderator Knights, led by the Kings, rode out. They stopped while the soldiers that had been garrisoned outside the walls, formed up into ranks. A quick visual inspection by the Kings saw that the soldiers had all been fitted with the protective metal. This had been very neatly applied as the metal had been cut into patterns and fit well with no gaps. The Officers of the soldiers were at the heads of their ranks and reported to the Kings, that all of their men were accounted for, armed and ready for the march. The wagons were loaded with enough food and water for the men and horses, spare protective metal and medical supplies to sustain the army for 2 days. It was still quite dark and torches that had been lighted all throughout the camp were now being extinguished.
The Kings, turned and with the Moderator Knights taking point, and flanking the convoy, headed out to do battle with the spammers.
Moving several thousand men at night was slow going, with a few mishaps along the way, but they arrived at their staging area with about 45 minutes to spare, before first light.
Sir JonPop Instructed Sir Kdub and Sir Stud to leave their horses and enter the swamp at the point they had discovered the spammer nest, to scout and report back. Meanwhile, King Thunder had moved with as much speed as they could muster and still remain relatively silent to the far end of the swamp to position themselves to cut off the spammer retreat and to close the circle. King Arthur had instructed the Captains of the foot soldiers to deploy right and left to form the open ended circle. When all were in position, they awaited the return of Sir Kdub and Sir Stud.

The morning was starting to brighten quickly when the two Knights emerged. They reported directly to Sir JonPop that all was well and the spammer camp was still there with most sleeping and just a few guards posted. Sir JonPop dispatched Sir Want8 and Sir Loki to ride to the right and left to alert the Captains forming the circle. Sir Sikdogg was to ride to King Thunder and his Moderator Knights and inform him that as soon as the Sun was visible cresting the hill, that they would begin the attack. As soon as they had delivered their messages they were to return here to bolster the reserve forces. King Arthur was talking with the Captain's forming the part of the circle that would do the push up the middle and all were waiting for the command. The Sun was just peeking over the hill, when the trumpets were sounded all around the swamp and the soldiers begin entering the swamp with fierce roars and battle cries. The progress through the swamp was very slow going as there were many obstacles, bogs and quicksand. The swamp was dense and the soldiers used their swords to clear the way as they advanced. Unbeknownst to the Kings and Sir JonPop when they had formulated the battle plan, the spammers now knew, that their laptops and the Ctrl Alt Delete device was useless against this new metal that the Knights and soldiers were wearing and had devised a plan to build many booby traps and to fight with conventional weapons. Many soldiers were lost from falling into pits lined with sharpened stakes and ropes strung across the easiest access points through the swamps to release heavy objects to swing from the trees to crush an unlucky solder. Other traps would spring up when stepped on and impale a man with a sharpened wooden spear. Many sniper spammers were waiting in ambush to shoot arrows into the advancing ranks and then fall back to the main spammer nest to do battle. The spammers had many days to prepare for such an attack and had done their work, well. The evening that Sir Kdub and Sir Stud had entered the swamp looking for the spammer nest, the had been observed, but had been allowed to leave. When they entered this morning, the spammers had made it seem as if the nest was sleeping while in reality they were springing their deadly trap.

Because the semi circle had been formed over such a large area, it was difficult to form groups to attack with any force. The spammers were killing at an alarming rate, the solders, one by one. the Captains of the 3 sides of the circle rode to bring King Arthur the news of the battle. King Arthur and Sir JonPop decided to send in, on foot the heavily armored Moderator knights. King Arthur had under his command, 30 Moderator Knights from Thunders and the Moderator Knights from BetterMan. They ordered the Captains of the foot soldiers to swing in the circle and attack the nest with full force.

Meanwhile, King Thunder and his troop of knights were still waiting for the spammers to come running from the swamp in full retreat.

The Knights that were to be the reserves, were now the main attacking force. All dismounted, charged their squires with the care of their mounts and lances left behind a platoon of foot soldiers to guard the wagons and their rear and set off on foot with shields at the ready to enter the nest of the spammers.

Überschwanz · 09-21-2007, 05:56 PM

I need to get some pussy in this story JP and I need it soon.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 06:10 PM

Well Sir Uber, if you don't get killed in this battle, when we return, hopefully victorious, to the castle, I'll see what I can do. Princess Jennifer and the Queen are pretty much taken, so how about you and Sir Stud, doing a few beautiful hand maidens? Maybe two at a time to make it interesting?

Überschwanz · 09-21-2007, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

Well Sir Uber, if you don't get killed in this battle, when we return, hopefully victorious, to the castle, I'll see what I can do. Princess Jennifer and the Queen are pretty much taken, so how about you and Sir Stud, doing a few beautiful hand maidens? Maybe two at a time to make it interesting?

Sounds fun.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 08:34 PM

Ok, after we pause for another commercial, we will go back to the battle. Stay tuned, film at 11:00.

JonPop · 09-21-2007, 08:36 PM

Writers Note:
Anyone just finding this story of the war between the brave Moderator Knights of BetterMan and the spammers and wishing to read it from the start, it starts at post #102. Or the lead in to the story starts at post #68. JP