To go bigger or not to go bigger?

WhitePhoenix · 06-01-2009, 04:00 AM

Hello everyone,

This forum came recommended by a friend and would like to get your perspective on an issue that bothers me. I know I've posted in the Women's perspective forum but I'd also like men to comment if they like.

I'm about 7.6" x 5.5" and always been quite confident with my size. For a long time, I had very short relationships and now I have found a girl I like enough to keep around and we've been together for a few months now.

She's very open about talking about some things and anyway I found out that she's had 7 sexual relationships before me and out of those, 1 man was longer and thicker than me and another was equal length or so and thicker than me.

Now... she swears by my cock... she tells me that bigger hurts and if it doesn't hurt, it gives her a feeling of "being stuffed" which is not as pleasurable as being able to feel my movements. She's also mentioned that it was quite problematic in other ways (lubrication, oral etc.). I understand this varies from woman to woman. She also tells me I make her cum, they didn't...

But... my ego was destroyed the day I found out about this. I thought that bigger than my dimensions is pretty rare (based on the stats I've read) and 2/7 were bigger for her! I wouldn't take it to heart so much any other time but I care for her so it hurts more.

So this is where I'd like your perspective...

- Am I going to please her more if I add some girth? She's a very honest person, almost too honest but there's always in my mind the possibility that she just says that because she's emotionally connected to me. By the way, is it possible to work on girth only or is it inevitable to gain length too?
- Am I being paranoid about this and in wanting to satisfy my ego I'm going to create more problems for us? Like difficulty in oral/deep throat and going into her without extra lubrication?
- Is it possible that she overrated the other men's girth? I asked her how she was so certain that they were bigger and she said that when grabbing them with her thumb and index fingers, her fingers didn't meet (with me, her fingers meet 1-2cm).

Thanks to everyone who reads and adds their 2 cents worth :)
WhitePhoenix

JonPop · 06-01-2009, 04:24 AM

Welcome to the BetterMan WhitePhoenix. I know for a fact that a woman's vigana will adapt to increased size, my wife's sure did. This is something, since you said she is very open, that you need to discuss with her. There are exercises that are more girth focused but some length gains will happen, also. Just the nature of PE.

Pegasus · 06-01-2009, 08:54 AM

Stats would suggest this girl has had circa a 100 partners. As women grossly understate number of partners this is plausible.

CUSP82 · 06-01-2009, 08:34 PM

Don't you think that the last thing you want thought of in a relationship is dick size? Any relationship built on that is doomed to failure. If she means something to you and vice versa who cares; you take the whole package or none. And having been on the planet for a while the real size issue that most women would be more concerned with is wallet size! That is all except the ladies that post here who care about us men in a spritual fashion!

lifted · 06-01-2009, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CUSP82

Don't you think that the last thing you want thought of in a relationship is dick size? Any relationship built on that is doomed to failure. If she means something to you and vice versa who cares; you take the whole package or none. And having been on the planet for a while the real size issue that most women would be more concerned with is wallet size! That is all except the ladies that post here who care about us men in a spritual fashion!

Yeah, your right.

lifted · 06-01-2009, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhitePhoenix

Hello everyone,

This forum came recommended by a friend and would like to get your perspective on an issue that bothers me. I know I've posted in the Women's perspective forum but I'd also like men to comment if they like.

I'm about 7.6" x 5.5" and always been quite confident with my size. For a long time, I had very short relationships and now I have found a girl I like enough to keep around and we've been together for a few months now.

She's very open about talking about some things and anyway I found out that she's had 7 sexual relationships before me and out of those, 1 man was longer and thicker than me and another was equal length or so and thicker than me.

Now... she swears by my cock... she tells me that bigger hurts and if it doesn't hurt, it gives her a feeling of "being stuffed" which is not as pleasurable as being able to feel my movements. She's also mentioned that it was quite problematic in other ways (lubrication, oral etc.). I understand this varies from woman to woman. She also tells me I make her cum, they didn't...

But... my ego was destroyed the day I found out about this. I thought that bigger than my dimensions is pretty rare (based on the stats I've read) and 2/7 were bigger for her! I wouldn't take it to heart so much any other time but I care for her so it hurts more.

So this is where I'd like your perspective...

- Am I going to please her more if I add some girth? She's a very honest person, almost too honest but there's always in my mind the possibility that she just says that because she's emotionally connected to me. By the way, is it possible to work on girth only or is it inevitable to gain length too?
- Am I being paranoid about this and in wanting to satisfy my ego I'm going to create more problems for us? Like difficulty in oral/deep throat and going into her without extra lubrication?
- Is it possible that she overrated the other men's girth? I asked her how she was so certain that they were bigger and she said that when grabbing them with her thumb and index fingers, her fingers didn't meet (with me, her fingers meet 1-2cm).

Thanks to everyone who reads and adds their 2 cents worth :)
WhitePhoenix

Sounds like you found a good lady. She likes your dick at where it is for now. If you stay together her size will accomdate your size as your size continues to grow. You are already large, Her comfort level may sesjest that you can relax on the penis size issue and cultivate a real relatioship.

Evidently she like the man you are and ylou like her. Like is more important than love beings you love someone and not like them either.

I would not be concerned about size at this time but focus on the love man. That is what is important. Hit the "G" spot she will think you have the biggest cock in the world.

WhitePhoenix · 06-02-2009, 02:02 AM

Thanks everyone for your replies!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

This is something, since you said she is very open, that you need to discuss with her.

Thanks for the welcome! Just a clarification - I meant that she's open about discussing things, hence I know how big her ex's dick is. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

Stats would suggest this girl has had circa a 100 partners. As women grossly understate number of partners this is plausible.

What makes you conclude that? The fact that she says she's had two cocks bigger than mine?

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifted

Sounds like you found a good lady. She likes your dick at where it is for now. If you stay together her size will accomdate your size as your size continues to grow. You are already large, Her comfort level may sesjest that you can relax on the penis size issue and cultivate a real relatioship.

Evidently she like the man you are and ylou like her. Like is more important than love beings you love someone and not like them either.

Thank you. And CUSP82 equally.

You are both right and I never lost sight of that.
I guess that's why I'm here discussing it rather than jumping on the first PE exercise I could find.

This was caused more than my ego than her, I think. I don't think she ever tried to be hurtful but to present facts or whatever. A bit silly perhaps. Anyway, my ex-partners always made me feel good about my size, I can't get used to the idea now that it's so much in my face.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifted

I would not be concerned about size at this time but focus on the love man. That is what is important. Hit the "G" spot she will think you have the biggest cock in the world.

For a dick in the 7"-8" range (like most people on this thread), what position/technique do you recommend for hitting her G-spot? I'd say it's about 1.2" inside her vagina.

W.M.P. · 06-02-2009, 03:27 AM

Listen up, dude

There's always gonna be someone bigger, stronger, richer, funnier, smarter, more hung and talented than the next guy. Truth here is that @ 7.6" in length and 5.5" in girth, whether it is the biggest any girl has ever had or not, one thing is true: You DO have a big rod, period. I keep an 8" x 5.5" cardboard tube for reference and I'll tell you that those dimensions make for a certified whopper, so don't go around feeling like Mr. Tiny, cause tiny you are not. You're one hung dude and you should be very happy with and grateful for it.

Pegasus · 06-02-2009, 08:28 AM

WP a bit of simple math. Approx 1 guy in a hundred is bigger than you, in both length [and girth. She claims to have had 2. What are the odds of that with only 7or8 partners? Dicks over 9" are what, 1 in a 1000? Do we have a maths whizz around to do the odds.
It is standard practise for women to understate their number of partners. They do not consider it lying (womens logic).
I have commented before, how experienced women are hard to impress re size.
I had a similar experience(only more so) with an experienced swinger I had sex with for awhile. After talking to her a number of times I concluded she had approx a 1000 partners. Now, she considered she had had, 3 big dicks. Now, I consider that downright unreasonable. Yet she considered me tall and I am only 6ft 1in ,so again womens logic. This annoys me,so after that I avoided very experienced(over 100 partners) girls.
However your situation is very different, if this is the girl for you, surely, this is a minor point.

italiananglo69 · 06-02-2009, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhitePhoenix

Hello everyone,

This forum came recommended by a friend and would like to get your perspective on an issue that bothers me. I know I've posted in the Women's perspective forum but I'd also like men to comment if they like.

I'm about 7.6" x 5.5" and always been quite confident with my size. For a long time, I had very short relationships and now I have found a girl I like enough to keep around and we've been together for a few months now.

She's very open about talking about some things and anyway I found out that she's had 7 sexual relationships before me and out of those, 1 man was longer and thicker than me and another was equal length or so and thicker than me.

Now... she swears by my cock... she tells me that bigger hurts and if it doesn't hurt, it gives her a feeling of "being stuffed" which is not as pleasurable as being able to feel my movements. She's also mentioned that it was quite problematic in other ways (lubrication, oral etc.). I understand this varies from woman to woman. She also tells me I make her cum, they didn't...

But... my ego was destroyed the day I found out about this. I thought that bigger than my dimensions is pretty rare (based on the stats I've read) and 2/7 were bigger for her! I wouldn't take it to heart so much any other time but I care for her so it hurts more.

So this is where I'd like your perspective...

- Am I going to please her more if I add some girth? She's a very honest person, almost too honest but there's always in my mind the possibility that she just says that because she's emotionally connected to me. By the way, is it possible to work on girth only or is it inevitable to gain length too?
- Am I being paranoid about this and in wanting to satisfy my ego I'm going to create more problems for us? Like difficulty in oral/deep throat and going into her without extra lubrication?
- Is it possible that she overrated the other men's girth? I asked her how she was so certain that they were bigger and she said that when grabbing them with her thumb and index fingers, her fingers didn't meet (with me, her fingers meet 1-2cm).

Thanks to everyone who reads and adds their 2 cents worth :)
WhitePhoenix

i think youre missing the point about youre relationship. If the girl really loves you, you could have a 5" penis and she wouldnt care. Likewise, there is so much more to a relationship than a girl who has small breasts.
Being too large can affect oral also. so if i were you, i would stick to a reasonable goal( 8x6)

Pegasus · 06-02-2009, 01:49 PM

I like cusp's post, down to earth, cycinical, the truth most don't want to hear.

WhitePhoenix · 06-02-2009, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W.M.P.

There's always gonna be someone bigger, stronger, richer, funnier, smarter, more hung and talented than the next guy. Truth here is that @ 7.6" in length and 5.5" in girth, whether it is the biggest any girl has ever had or not, one thing is true: You DO have a big rod, period. I keep an 8" x 5.5" cardboard tube for reference and I'll tell you that those dimensions make for a certified whopper, so don't go around feeling like Mr. Tiny, cause tiny you are not. You're one hung dude and you should be very happy with and grateful for it.

Well, how she measured length was with her hand. She knows her hand is x inches, hence the dick is y inches.

Now... at the particular point in discussion between us, my erection just about reached the top of her hand, which is 6.5". My erection in the moment felt pretty strong but definitely not super-hard-rock-steel-type-thing.

So one of the following is happening and each one has different repercussions:

1- I've always measured my own dick wrong. I was always careful when I was measuring it... Parallel to the floor and I didn't lie to myself. If I was talking about it, I would round it up (20cm - 7.9") but I never lied to myself about it. So that would be a pretty strange thing to happen.

2- I didn't have a full erection. But... can an erection feel strong but not be at full length??

In other words she's made me doubt my own measurements. Have I been believing an erroneous measurement all these years?

I don't know - every time I've tried to measure it since, it varies between 6.5" to 7" but it's definitely not a full erection... every time I reach for the ruler it just goes limp...

I guess I have to get her to turn me on again and measure it again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

WP a bit of simple math. Approx 1 guy in a hundred is bigger than you, in both length [and girth. She claims to have had 2. What are the odds of that with only 7or8 partners? Dicks over 9" are what, 1 in a 1000? Do we have a maths whizz around to do the odds.
It is standard practise for women to understate their number of partners. They do not consider it lying (womens logic).
I have commented before, how experienced women are hard to impress re size.
I had a similar experience(only more so) with an experienced swinger I had sex with for awhile. After talking to her a number of times I concluded she had approx a 1000 partners. Now, she considered she had had, 3 big dicks. Now, I consider that downright unreasonable. Yet she considered me tall and I am only 6ft 1in ,so again womens logic. This annoys me,so after that I avoided very experienced(over 100 partners) girls.
However your situation is very different, if this is the girl for you, surely, this is a minor point.

I definitely know what you mean about women's logic. I love women and I'm pretty good at understanding them but some things make no damn sense.

When she was talking about this huge dude, she also said that his chest was twice as broad as hers. Or his torso was twice as wide as hers.
Now... this is a Caucasian girl, size 8-10 UK, about 5.5 feet tall.

Unless this man was a giant, it'd be quite hard to believe that he so big chested and big dicked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by italiananglo69

i think youre missing the point about youre relationship. If the girl really loves you, you could have a 5" penis and she wouldnt care. Likewise, there is so much more to a relationship than a girl who has small breasts.
Being too large can affect oral also. so if i were you, i would stick to a reasonable goal( 8x6)

I hear you and I hear cusp and Pegasus and everyone else with similar points.
Yes, I am skillful in bed and don't need to be the biggest dick that has pleased her.

On the other hand... if you met someone who you really liked and loved, wouldn't you want to be the best FOR HER in all departments. Being the best in all departments for all the women in the world is impossible... but just for one - is it too much of a dream to have?

I just don't know if making it bigger will be putting my own finger to poke my own eye if you know what I mean.

Min'sGirl · 06-02-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhitePhoenix

On the other hand... if you met someone who you really liked and loved, wouldn't you want to be the best FOR HER in all departments. Being the best in all departments for all the women in the world is impossible... but just for one - is it too much of a dream to have?

I just don't know if making it bigger will be putting my own finger to poke my own eye if you know what I mean.

If you rock her world, and she says you don't need to be bigger, than you probably are the best for her.

WhitePhoenix · 06-03-2009, 02:20 AM

Eh... I'm still left in the middle of nowhere.

We had the discussion again - I made her think again of these two guys. She's pretty sure that they were 9.0-9.5"/6.0-6.5" and 7.5"/6.0" respectively.

I know she's not lying about their size or how many partners she's had so I have to find some way to fit it in my small head that she's had bigger dicks than mine and that's OK. How it happened that 2/7 dicks were this big is really beyond me... It almost makes me wanna call all me ex-girlfriends and ask them if they've had a bigger dick.

I'm also left in the dark about my own size. I made her measure me but just like when I tried it by myself, it was impossible to get a full erection - thinking about the whole measurement thing completely switches me off.

It's a big pill to swallow - has any of you had a similar experience with someone you really liked? Cause I also had another girl tell me she's been with another bigger dude only that time I couldn't care less because she didn't mean a lot. How did you get over it?

I think I'll start working out with some of the exercises offered in these forums... after all these discussions with her and imagining those two other dudes, I feel like my dick has shrunk. I have to build up my self-image again.

JonPop · 06-03-2009, 04:58 AM

WP. Chill out man. You are going to fuck up this relationship with someone you really care for, if you don't stop obsessing about this.

Pegasus · 06-03-2009, 08:02 AM

Girl at work swore her boyfriend (current), had a 9" dick and she said she was experienced and really I mean REALLY, knew dicks. Got her to measure it , turns out to be 7.5".
I could print a whole heap of stats to show how unlikely her assertions are, but you can look it up yourself.

Pegasus · 06-03-2009, 08:05 AM

Just remembered , swingergirl had 2 guys about the size of the big guy you mention. Yes I do believe her, 2 that size out of a thousand odd is not terribly unlikely.

italiananglo69 · 06-03-2009, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhitePhoenix

Well, how she measured length was with her hand. She knows her hand is x inches, hence the dick is y inches.

Now... at the particular point in discussion between us, my erection just about reached the top of her hand, which is 6.5". My erection in the moment felt pretty strong but definitely not super-hard-rock-steel-type-thing.

So one of the following is happening and each one has different repercussions:

1- I've always measured my own dick wrong. I was always careful when I was measuring it... Parallel to the floor and I didn't lie to myself. If I was talking about it, I would round it up (20cm - 7.9") but I never lied to myself about it. So that would be a pretty strange thing to happen.

2- I didn't have a full erection. But... can an erection feel strong but not be at full length??

In other words she's made me doubt my own measurements. Have I been believing an erroneous measurement all these years?

I don't know - every time I've tried to measure it since, it varies between 6.5" to 7" but it's definitely not a full erection... every time I reach for the ruler it just goes limp...

I guess I have to get her to turn me on again and measure it again.

I definitely know what you mean about women's logic. I love women and I'm pretty good at understanding them but some things make no damn sense.

When she was talking about this huge dude, she also said that his chest was twice as broad as hers. Or his torso was twice as wide as hers.
Now... this is a Caucasian girl, size 8-10 UK, about 5.5 feet tall.

Unless this man was a giant, it'd be quite hard to believe that he so big chested and big dicked.

I hear you and I hear cusp and Pegasus and everyone else with similar points.
Yes, I am skillful in bed and don't need to be the biggest dick that has pleased her.

On the other hand... if you met someone who you really liked and loved, wouldn't you want to be the best FOR HER in all departments. Being the best in all departments for all the women in the world is impossible... but just for one - is it too much of a dream to have?

I just don't know if making it bigger will be putting my own finger to poke my own eye if you know what I mean.

How are your oral skills? some women love that much more than just a big dick and not that many men are truly good at it.
Read the Cunnilingus 101 thread for tips

Pegasus · 06-08-2009, 02:15 PM

You know I have come to think having a decent dick causes an unforseen problem.
When I was a teenager and had a 6,75" dick if a girl said it was average, no problems. Sure I could think it was actually a bit over average, but not enough to argue about.
But woe unto any girl that tells me that now.
If you have a big dick you don't want anyone suggesting it is average.
I would think, this would be even more the case, if you had put a lot of work into building it. You put many years of effort into building a 8" by 6" and someone like swingergirl yawns.

10 · 06-08-2009, 02:48 PM

OK, I've read MOST of this thread and I'm going to tell you straight up WP, you are going to fuck this entire thing up if you keep obssessing on your cock size versus those of prior lovers your girl has had. Seriously. There will always be guys bigger than you and always guys smaller than you. Period. It's just the way it goes. But rehashing this crap with your girl over and over and over is going to not only serve to further destroy your own self image BUT, it's going to ultimately serve to destroy whatever relationship the two of you might engage in.

Also, what difference does it make what size her prior lovers were anyway? If she likes you for you, it shouldn't matter to you what size your bringing to the table. And, as CUSP82 pointed out above, if all she's interested in is the size of you dick, then brother pack your shit and move the fuck on. I'm close to your size and my girl LOVES how thick I am and my length..........it's the perfect combination for her. She was married for 25 years to a small dicked and small brained man so to have me in her bed with a cock as big as that of some porn stars out there, I leave her in orgasmic bliss every damn night but it's not just from the sex. It's how I treat her and how emotionally availale I am for her. If all your going to be is a fuck buddy, then why are you worried about your size for? If you truly want more with her than just being a friend with benefits, focus more on giving of yourself to her and less on whether or not you have that added inch that one of her prior lovers had.

Lastly, and it was mentioned somewhere above, women are TERRIBLE judges of cock size. 'Nuff said.

W.M.P. · 06-08-2009, 05:47 PM

I ask this before and I'll keep asking it over and over again: Why would any man in his right mind inquire about the size of his girl's ex-lovers?

Min'sGirl · 06-08-2009, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

Lastly, and it was mentioned somewhere above, women are TERRIBLE judges of cock size. 'Nuff said.

Yea, it's not a skill we ever thought we would have to acquire

10 · 06-09-2009, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W.M.P.

I ask this before and I'll keep asking it over and over again: Why would any man in his right mind inquire about the size of his girl's ex-lovers?

You got me brah and that's why I put that in my post. It just baffles me why some guys want to know how big their girls' ex boyfriends cock size is. The ONLY thing any guy should be concerned with is that she is with you and not the ex.

WhitePhoenix · 06-09-2009, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W.M.P.

I ask this before and I'll keep asking it over and over again: Why would any man in his right mind inquire about the size of his girl's ex-lovers?

I didn't exactly inquire. I never have. It was a very bad moment for both of us.

In brief, she had a bad dream that my dick was too big and tearing her apart. I made half-funny/half-serious comment about being the biggest. I was laughing as I was saying but she found necessary to "tell me the truth" and she thus uttered "well there is bigger".

In that moment, she shattered my ego and the whole thing kept getting worse and worse. No matter what she said about how the dude came in under a minute and other things to make me feel better, things were just not the same.

It's not that before I really thought I was the biggest in the world. Of course not. I've seen monsters in porn. I was just comfortable in knowing I'm pretty big and comfortable in NOT knowing whether I was the biggest for HER or any other woman before her.

And, well, because I'm emotionally connected to her, it hurts more and raised questions which I won't list again - just look above.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPop

WP. Chill out man. You are going to fuck up this relationship with someone you really care for, if you don't stop obsessing about this.

I oscillate. Sometimes it's "So what?" and others it's driving me nuts.

The forums here have helped me a lot, I have to say. I think the most enlightening thing I read was in a blog (I believe it's by one of the members here or elsewhere but unfortunately I forgot whom - apologies for not giving the credit):

Quote:

Men, don't ask your partner if your size is satisfying! If she says, "Yes, you're the biggest," then you tag her as a liar. If she says, "You're big, but not the biggest," you assume she wants a bigger dick. If she says "You're the right size for me," then it sounds like a copout. No matter how a woman answers – there's no right answer!

That definitely rings true... She just should have never gotten into the size thing. And I should have never felt so damn insecure about it. But she did, and I did, so here I am.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

Girl at work swore her boyfriend (current), had a 9" dick and she said she was experienced and really I mean REALLY, knew dicks. Got her to measure it , turns out to be 7.5".
I could print a whole heap of stats to show how unlikely her assertions are, but you can look it up yourself.

You're right. The really big dude she says she's pretty confident about his measurements as they were together a while and they measured it. Now, the method of course is very important but I didn't go into that.

I have my doubts also... On the other hand, it's unlikely but not impossible.

But here's my question.

I know, for a fact, that she's had a better time with me, sexually, than with either of those dudes. In my mind, we tend to exaggerate about something we had an awesome experience of. So if I'm really hungry and have an average-taste steak, I will probably think it's the queen of steaks. Right?

Then... why would she remember those dicks as thicker or longer, than mine?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

You know I have come to think having a decent dick causes an unforseen problem.
When I was a teenager and had a 6,75" dick if a girl said it was average, no problems. Sure I could think it was actually a bit over average, but not enough to argue about.
But woe unto any girl that tells me that now.
If you have a big dick you don't want anyone suggesting it is average.
I would think, this would be even more the case, if you had put a lot of work into building it. You put many years of effort into building a 8" by 6" and someone like swingergirl yawns.

You hit the nail on the head. Before my current GF, I had ONE girl tell me she's been with a bigger dick. Of course, I did not go around asking all my ex's either, I probably would have heard that more if I did but like you say, I was used to being in that comfortable "pretty big" spot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

OK, I've read MOST of this thread and I'm going to tell you straight up WP, you are going to fuck this entire thing up if you keep obssessing on your cock size versus those of prior lovers your girl has had. Seriously. There will always be guys bigger than you and always guys smaller than you. Period. It's just the way it goes. But rehashing this crap with your girl over and over and over is going to not only serve to further destroy your own self image BUT, it's going to ultimately serve to destroy whatever relationship the two of you might engage in.

You're right.

Unfortunately the damage in my own self-image is already done and I'm trying to rebuild it. Surely our relationship has suffered too, thank God not too much.

Quote:

Also, what difference does it make what size her prior lovers were anyway? If she likes you for you, it shouldn't matter to you what size your bringing to the table. And, as CUSP82 pointed out above, if all she's interested in is the size of you dick, then brother pack your shit and move the fuck on. I'm close to your size and my girl LOVES how thick I am and my length..........it's the perfect combination for her. She was married for 25 years to a small dicked and small brained man so to have me in her bed with a cock as big as that of some porn stars out there, I leave her in orgasmic bliss every damn night but it's not just from the sex. It's how I treat her and how emotionally availale I am for her. If all your going to be is a fuck buddy, then why are you worried about your size for? If you truly want more with her than just being a friend with benefits, focus more on giving of yourself to her and less on whether or not you have that added inch that one of her prior lovers had.

Right on both accounts.

It's two things.

First, my ego. And I have to say, at the moment at least, it's not a big problem.

Secondly, some things that she said that I may or may not have interpreted the same way that she said them.

For example that the girth difference between me and the slightly bigger dude was around the head. Now, length we were around-about the same yet she classed his cock as big and mine as average-to-big. Now, why would that be? My thought is that even if it's just aesthetically, she liked his cock better. Am I being paranoid? How would you interpret it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

The ONLY thing any guy should be concerned with is that she is with you and not the ex.

Right.

The thing is, most women will rate a man based on his average (combined personality, emotionality, sex performance etc). So, a woman could dump her ex and keep you because her ex was a sex God but really unstable overall and you are OK in bed but have an awesome, stable personality.

IF you knew this to be true... Would you be happy to know that you average is better but your sex performance/personality/whatever else may be important to you about you is much lower than that guy?

10 · 06-09-2009, 03:08 PM

I'm going to address your first question above. Are you being paranoid? Personally, I say "yes". You already know that your big and in fact, your larger than most guys in society. Therefore, you've got that going for you. This is something that you objectively know to be true. This girl your with shouldn't have said "my ex was big and your average to big". She never ever should've said that because some guys are extremely sensitive to the size issue. Unfortunately, what happened between the two of you was some innocent conversation that went south for you really quick.

I'm sure you know bro that the mind is a very powerful tool. It can fuck with you in ways you can't even imagine. It's up to you how you harness that mind power and turn it around to your advantage. Whether your girl's past guy was bigger than you or not isn't the point, the greater point here is that she's with YOU! The only person who can learn to let this go is you. As long as your mind keeps fucking with you about this size issue, it's never to be put to bed.

Also, in my case, my girl was married for 25 years to a fucking moron who would only fuck her sporadically when he felt like it, had a very small brain and was only interested in things that mattered to him. He's a narcissistic mother fucker and put my girl through living hell for a quarter century. Fast forward to now, she's with me, has the BEST SEX of her life. I am not only sexually in tune to her and her needs but my personality and emotional availability is right on the mark. And because of who and what I am as a man, I get laid every fuckin' night or at the very least a very good blow job. And every time I'm with her, I get told "God your cock is so huge". Does this inflate my ego? Your damn right it does. I've been working on my dick size for 5 years now and I can honestly say that regular condoms don't fit............I need those Trojan Magnums (I don't wear condoms BUT, as a measure and testimony to PE, this process does work).

Don't misunderstand my above paragraph. I'm not trying to brag but merely point out that if your truly in tuned to her and COMFORTABLE AND SECURE with who you are as a man, bro, she'll be in your arms every night and will be letting you get that pussy every night. And, it won't matter whether your John Holmes or "PeeWee" freakin' Herman.

WhitePhoenix · 06-10-2009, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

I'm going to address your first question above. Are you being paranoid? Personally, I say "yes". You already know that your big and in fact, your larger than most guys in society. Therefore, you've got that going for you. This is something that you objectively know to be true. This girl your with shouldn't have said "my ex was big and your average to big". She never ever should've said that because some guys are extremely sensitive to the size issue. Unfortunately, what happened between the two of you was some innocent conversation that went south for you really quick.

I'm sure you know bro that the mind is a very powerful tool. It can fuck with you in ways you can't even imagine. It's up to you how you harness that mind power and turn it around to your advantage. Whether your girl's past guy was bigger than you or not isn't the point, the greater point here is that she's with YOU! The only person who can learn to let this go is you. As long as your mind keeps fucking with you about this size issue, it's never to be put to bed.

Also, in my case, my girl was married for 25 years to a fucking moron who would only fuck her sporadically when he felt like it, had a very small brain and was only interested in things that mattered to him. He's a narcissistic mother fucker and put my girl through living hell for a quarter century. Fast forward to now, she's with me, has the BEST SEX of her life. I am not only sexually in tune to her and her needs but my personality and emotional availability is right on the mark. And because of who and what I am as a man, I get laid every fuckin' night or at the very least a very good blow job. And every time I'm with her, I get told "God your cock is so huge". Does this inflate my ego? Your damn right it does. I've been working on my dick size for 5 years now and I can honestly say that regular condoms don't fit............I need those Trojan Magnums (I don't wear condoms BUT, as a measure and testimony to PE, this process does work).

Don't misunderstand my above paragraph. I'm not trying to brag but merely point out that if your truly in tuned to her and COMFORTABLE AND SECURE with who you are as a man, bro, she'll be in your arms every night and will be letting you get that pussy every night. And, it won't matter whether your John Holmes or "PeeWee" freakin' Herman.

You're right brother. The conversation was really fucked up but I gotta man up about it.

What's still on my mind is whether I want to get bigger or not...

Does my size matter to her? Probably not.

Would she enjoy it more if I was bigger? Probably not.

Do I feel smaller when I look at porn now (all of a sudden I notice dick sizes a lot more)? Darn yes but an easy fix to that - quit watching porn.

Do I feel a bit smaller because there has been bigger than me in "close vicinity"? Darn yes.

10 · 06-11-2009, 03:31 PM

Don't let porn fool you. I used to think like you do and then I learned that camera angles and how big the chick is can do wonders to a cock's size. What you might perceive to be an 8" or more, is actually about 7". I'm not saying this is the case with every guy out there but generally, guys in porn are really no bigger than you or I.

I bet she'd enjoy you treating her with respect and dignity and loving her versus you being a huge asswipe with a 10" dong. If you're strictly being judged by her based on how big your cock is (or isn't) instead of the qualities that truly matter to women, then perhaps you should look elsewhere for a girl. JMO.

Betterman · 06-17-2009, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10

Don't let porn fool you. I used to think like you do and then I learned that camera angles and how big the chick is can do wonders to a cock's size. What you might perceive to be an 8" or more, is actually about 7". I'm not saying this is the case with every guy out there but generally, guys in porn are really no bigger than you or I.

I bet she'd enjoy you treating her with respect and dignity and loving her versus you being a huge asswipe with a 10" dong. If you're strictly being judged by her based on how big your cock is (or isn't) instead of the qualities that truly matter to women, then perhaps you should look elsewhere for a girl. JMO.

Yea, but it's really great to reach down and spread her ass cheeks apart, like in the movies. While you feel how she is just amazingly fitted on you. MMMmmmmmm,

I can see it now.

LetItGrow · 06-20-2009, 09:32 PM

Wow, looks like a case of Deja Vu.

Look man, I went through this whole thing with my current gf. I asked her one night how I stacked up and I found out that out of about 15, I'm 4th, thats with 7.5BP and 5EG. This is what she says, I dont think she would lie.

Anyway, it created a SHITLOAD of problems for me mentally! Wished I never would have asked, wished she never would have told.

But, she did and I dealt with it. I started PE, I dont think I'll ever be the biggest, from what I saw with her hands its about 2 inches longer than mine. I also don't exactly have proportionate girth for my length so it makes my dick look thin. Granted, in terms of girth I am on the high end of average and in length I'm an inch beyond, so whatever.

You'll get over it man, it goes away, just stop obsessing about it.

Here's a few other fun facts from my current relationship I had to deal with:
I unknowingly met 2 guys she fooled around with and was told later. Now I wonder why they acted strange to me.

The first time we messed around, the guy she was on a date with was there, akward right, but funny as hell.

I had the joy of knowing she slept with a guy whose been on 3 tv shows and happens to be completely ripped and in amazing shape, but he's a total douche bag so that makes me feel better.

My solution: PE until I am happy with my cock. Workout until I am happy with my body. Our sex life is fucking great, even with her being 8 months pregnant we still have sex at least 2 to 3 times a week, at least. And even at being 8 months pregnant I find her fucking hot, so now what.

The more you think about it the more fucked up your mind will get and the worse off your relationship will get.

Let it go, move on. If you can't, break up and never ask that question again to any girl. Because it will only hurt you, not her.

Pegasus · 06-21-2009, 05:13 AM

#29 (permalink)
LetItGrow
Silver Member

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 165 Wow, looks like a case of Deja Vu.

Look man, I went through this whole thing with my current gf. I asked her one night how I stacked up and I found out that out of about 15, I'm 4th, thats with 7.5BP and 5EG. This is what she says, I dont think she would lie.

Anyway, it created a SHITLOAD of problems for me mentally! Wished I never would have asked, wished she never would have told.

But, she did and I dealt with it. I started PE, I dont think I'll ever be the biggest, from what I saw with her hands its about 2 inches longer than mine. I also don't exactly have proportionate girth for my length so it makes my dick look thin. Granted, in terms of girth I am on the high end of average and in length I'm an inch beyond, so whatever" End quote

Pegasus
Guys wake up!!! There is a better chance of winning the lottery than this being true.
Isn't it more likely these girls are messing with your heads?? Failing that, perhaps they have had FAAAAR more partners than they let on. I think they are messing with your heads very successfully. If you don't wake up at this point and smell the coffee, you have yourselves to blame.
Personally I don't like head games. If I am ever in another relationship, (god forbid) ,I think I will ask this question, so that if I get an answer like you guys did, I can dump her lying ,headgame playing ass. You guys deal with it how wish.

Betterman · 06-21-2009, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

Wow, looks like a case of Deja Vu.

People are in too much of a rush, especially in the U.S. If you can't have it NOW, then there seems in no having of it. My sig. says it all, there's no need to try to sell. People have different wants and needs. Now that I'm done my needs have started to change. I feel myself drifting toward other tasks, I will visit though.

I have fruit trees to plant.

10 · 06-21-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

People are in too much of a rush, especially in the U.S. If you can't have it NOW, then there seems in no having of it. My sig. says it all, there's no need to try to sell. People have different wants and needs. Now that I'm done my needs have started to change. I feel myself drifting toward other tasks, I will visit though.

I have fruit trees to plant.

You have no idea how true this all is. Everyone in the US is in "I MUST HAVE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" mode. I, myself, am just as guilty of this as the next person. I think the difference with me is that with PE, I knew going into this process that this was a time and lifestyle commitment. I can finally say that nearly 5 years later, I do have a porn star size cock but it's taken me a long time to get here.

Pegasus · 06-22-2009, 07:57 AM

Um B-man you know your viewpoint is very respected, here if not always well understood. Don't think you are not needed. If lifes journey ,takes you on a johny appleseed mission don't forget us.

Betterman · 06-22-2009, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegasus

Um B-man you know your viewpoint is very respected, here if not always well understood. Don't think you are not needed. If lifes journey ,takes you on a johny appleseed mission don't forget us.

I appreciate that. I just may have larger gaps between log in's. Life is becoming more of a juggler's routine, with sometimes many more items thrown into the act, depending on the week etc. Just giving some FYI to the members. Besides, after short term breaks, I think I post better.

So to stay on topic, I think I am not going to go bigger. Just yesterday, Mi Lady stated to me "I don't think you know just how big you are." The topic was me getting new shorts etc.

10 · 06-22-2009, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betterman

I appreciate that. I just may have larger gaps between log in's. Life is becoming more of a juggler's routine, with sometimes many more items thrown into the act, depending on the week etc. Just giving some FYI to the members. Besides, after short term breaks, I think I post better.

So to stay on topic, I think I am not going to go bigger. Just yesterday, Mi Lady stated to me "I don't think you know just how big you are." The topic was me getting new shorts etc.

Ah yes, it is quite the burden we big dick people must carry with us. New shorts or no new shorts........